Tag Archives: Body Image during and after weight loss

Can doing yoga help you accept your new body after weight loss?

The health benefits of doing yoga are endless: relaxes you and makes you focus, improves flexibility, builds muscle strength, perfects posture, increases blood flow, helps you sleep better, boosts immunity and so on. But can doing yoga help you deal with phantom fat after significant weight loss and help you accept your new fit body?

If you are following my blog, you are familiar with the issue that I had to tackle after losing significant weight: when I looked in the mirror, I saw a new fit body and I couldn’t relate to it. I had many other symptoms regarding of not being aware of my smaller body. Read more about my struggle with dealing with phantom fat here>>>

How can doing yoga help you accept your new body after weight loss

Yoga is not just a simple form of exercise. It is way more: it helps you develop a mind-body-soul connection. Your body can influence your mind. If you’ve taken a nice long walk in the park after a long stressful day to ease your mind and set yourself in a better mood, you know exactly what I’m talking about. On the other hand, your mind can influence your body as well: becoming embarrassed makes you blush in an instant. As social psychologist Amy Cuddy illustrated in her TED talk: just try one of the power poses – stand in a gladiator posture of confidence even when you don’t feel confident in order to improve your level of confidence immediately! This is a simple demonstration of how a certain body pose has an affect on your mind.

4 yoga exercises for accepting your new body after weight loss

Here is a list of yoga poses that helped me accept my new fit body after losing more than 26 kg / 57 lbs and having a hard time adjusting to my new fit body:

1. Tree Pose (Vrikshasana)

How: Start from standing straight and shift your weight to your left leg. The entire sole of the foot should remain in contact with the floor. Bend your right knee and bring your right foot on the left inner thigh.The hips should be open with the right knee pointing toward the right. Bring your hands in front of you in a praying position. If you feel comfortable, raise your hands clasped together above your head. Hold this position for 20 to 60 seconds, and then bring down your right leg and repeat on the other side.

Why it works: It improves balance, posture and concentration. Practicing this pose has positive benefits on overall balance and coordination.

Contraindications: Knee or hip injury.

2. Warrior 1 (Virabhadrasana I)

How: Stand straight and stretch up your arms, palms touching. Inhale and spread your legs sideways by creating a gap of 2/3 body height. Exhale and turn your trunk facing right while rotating your right foot to face forward and slightly rotate your left foot to the left. Bend your right knee for your thigh to become parallel with the ground. Now your head, chest and right knee and foot should face forward. Hold this pose for 5 breaths, and then repeat on the other side.

Why it works: Helps you develop concentration, balance and achieve groundedness.

Contraindications: Hip, knee, back or shoulder injury.

3. Cobra pose (Bhujangasana)

How: Lay on the ground with your chest facing down. Keeping your palms and legs on the floor, lift your chest.

Why it works: It strengthens the spine and stretches your chest and stomach. It relieves stress and fatigue.

4. Bow pose (Dhanurasana)

How: Lay on the ground with your chest facing down. lie Grasp both of your feet with your hands to lift your legs and chest to form a bow. Remain in this position for some time, and try to swing back and forth or to the side.

Why it works: It opens up the chest, neck and shoulders. Has a beneficial effect on the whole body.

Need more help seeing your new fit body image in the mirror? Get more tips by clicking here >>>

4 methods to help You deal with phantom fat

November 3, 2015Body image problemsBody Image during and after weight loss, phantom fat, successful weight lossChristina Marky

Phantom fat is a condition that occurs after weight loss when you are unable to see your new fit body. Dealing with phantom fat can be challenging.

What is phantom fat?

If you used to be fat and you’ve lost significant weight recently, chances are that you are struggling with phantom fat. Phantom fat means that you still have the big fat body image in your mind even after you’ve lost weight and your body changed and became smaller. Your perception of yourself did not change: you still see yourself as fat, and you can’t relate to the fit body image that you see of yourself in the mirror.

4 methods to help you deal with phantom fat

Here are 4 methods that will help you deal with phantom fat:

1. Ask a friend for a game of reflective listening

Sit down with a friend or someone from your family whom you trust. The game starts with you talking about you talking about your struggles of becoming fit but being unable to relate to your new fit body. Your friend needs to listen carefully to what you are saying, and they need to repeat what you said by expressing it with other words (aka paraphrasing your message). They should keep away from being judgmental or expressing their own opinion. They should concentrate on paraphrasing what you just said.

The aim of this game is for you to hear the message that you are saying for yourself in order for you to be able to find the underlying emotions.

If it is hard for your friend to phrase or grasp your emotions, you just have to keep on talking until they get it.

At the end of this game you will better understand yourself and your feelings regarding your phantom fat. By hearing back the underlying message that you send out by talking about your struggle with phantom fat gives you the opportunity to understand what you are going through. At the end of the game you will be able to develop insight about yourself.

2. Keep a journal

4 methods to help You deal with phantom fat — This will be my first post in my phantom fat journal

Start keeping a journal to analyze the development of your phantom fat over time. This is a way to write yourself out of the phantom fat phase of after weight loss struggles.

Writing a journal helps because basically your mind is stuck in the “I am still fat” phase while your body is in the “I am so fit” phase. So keeping a journal is a great way to give you insight into your thoughts and feelings. You can have a conversation with the part of your psyche that is still stuck in the past, aka fat phase. By writing a journal about your feelings and thoughts about phantom fat you will gain awareness that you didn’t have before.

3. Identify phantom fat

Knowing that what you are experiencing is phantom fat is the first step towards improving and overcoming your mental habit. If your thoughts revolve around your fat body image, chances are you struggle with phantom fat.

See if you suffer from phantom fat>>>

If your inner voice and thoughts say that you are still fat, even if others say that you look great and you’ve lost weight, then you might suffer from phantom fat.

Now listen to your inner voice: is it positive or negative? Why? Investigate the source of your inner voice. In case you notice a pattern while evaluating your inner voice, then trace the feelings back to your first memory about them.

Believe in yourself! Believe that you are fit! You know it, now believe that one day you will see it for yourself! If you believe, you are able to!

4. Self reflection

Sit down and think. Take some time for yourself, put aside an hour for yourself when no one will bother you. Grab a cup of tea, sit down in a corner and start thinking. Self reflect. Think about what you have learnt about yourself and your feelings of phantom fat so far. What did you accomplish so far that makes you happy? Don’t just list the obvious things like “I’ve lost 60 pounds.” but dig deeper: “I’ve adopted a healthy lifestyle.” Is there something that you regret that makes you sad? Time to identify that too.

Still haven’t found what you were looking for? Check out my other guide on how to accept your new fit body>>>

Found these tips useful and you want more? Click here to subscribe to my weekly newsletter>>>

Sex after weight loss: the truth everyone who lost weight is afraid to openly admit

October 13, 2015Emotional issues after weight loss, Motivation to stay fitafter weight loss, Body Image during and after weight loss, fit body, healthy life mindset, motivation, successful weight lossChristina Marky

The truth everyone who lost weight is afraid to openly admit is: sex becomes better after weight loss. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t say that for you to enjoy sex you can’t be overweight or obese and must be fit. Everyone is entitled to enjoy sex, and you may be obese and still have a sexual drive of a rabbit, always ready to go. The secret I’m going to share with you here is how significant weight loss will affect the way you are having sex.

How becoming fit effects your sexual drive in a positive way:

1. New sex positions you are able to get into

And I don’t only mean deeper penetration, because that’s not what every woman enjoys. However there are certain positions that were out of the question while you were fat that are now available for you now after your weight loss. I found myself discovering this unintentionally during one intercourse after I’ve lost significant amount of weight. It didn’t come up during the act itself, but the fact that we couldn’t do that pose earlier while I was fat was pointed out by my significant other. And I didn’t get upset as you would expect; I got all excited about it, and it filled me with happiness that going from fat to fit had it benefits on my sex life I never expected!

After weight loss you are able to try various sexual positions that were impossible before while you were fat. For a complete list of position tips see Wikipedia’s sex positions article.

2. Increased stamina

Sexual stamina is defined as a person’s ability to sustain sexual intercourse before they tire out. If you have high stamina, you can have sex for longer without getting tired. You may also be able to have sex in positions that require more strength. If you have low stamina, you get tired easily from all that vigorous sex and can have a hard time maintaining your level of arousal.

With weight loss while engaging in regular exercise my different muscle groups strengthened. This resulted not only in increased stamina during sex but also I enabled myself to get into sex positions that work my muscle groups that I couldn’t get myself into before while I was fat. Only after a few weeks of strength training, you will be able to see results in bed: some poses will be more enjoyable when you can easily hold yourself in them thanks to your muscles. I didn’t even realize how much of a mood breaker it was before for me that I couldn’t hold myself with my arms for long in certain positions.

With increased stamina after weight loss you will be open to experiment more and have longer sessions because you’re not tired out and can keep on going.

3. Increased sexual self-esteem

You did it, you’ve lost weight! Yey for you! You’ve set a goal, worked hard, and achieved it. You might feel that this is not a permanent state and that you still have other goals to achieve, but take a moment to really appreciate what you’ve done here. You put your mind to something, made sacrifices, worked hard, and achieved what you intended to! Take a few minutes to think about it. You did it. Let it sink in.

If you had low self esteem until this point, then it needs to be increased! You achieved something for yourself and yourself only! Way to go!

Self-esteem means having self-confidence, liking yourself, having a healthy level of achievement in your life and having respect of others. Confidence is considered sexy.

Higher self-esteem affects your sexual self-esteem in a positive way. It makes you open for a new kind of way of receiving and giving affection.

4. Losing weight stimulates sex hormones

There is a research that suggests that losing even a small amount of weight, even 10 pounds, is enough to stimulate your sex hormones. Personally I didn’t experience this.

Research says that in overweight women the sex drive and the desire are affected. Apparently it is related to the amount of body fat you have. If your body fat is high, chances are that your SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) levels are high as well. SHBG binds to testosterone the sex hormone. It makes low testosterone levels, so there is less that can stimulate desire.

So apparently weight loss has a positive effect on your sexual desire as well. I believe that it might be true in some cases, but the truth is that I’ve seen overweight people who don’t have a problem with desire, and I haven’t experiences problems while I was obese and overweight either.

You just read 4 facts how becoming fit effects your sexual drive in a positive way, but let me tell you something: there are no words to describe the happiness that you feel when you find out all these benefits for yourself. So keep yourself motivated to become and stay fit!

Did you know I’ve shared my secret of how I’ve went from fat to fit girl? Be sure to read how I’ve lost 60 lbs! Click here>>>

Fit but can’t see it: how to accept your new fit body

September 29, 2015Body image problemsBody Image during and after weight loss, body image problems, successful weight lossChristina Marky

Losing significant amount of weight changes your body and your mind can't catch up to that change: this is why you see yourself fat when in reality you are fit. In your mind you are still fat, no matter what the scale or the image in your mirror shows.

The body image disorder when you can’t see or can’t relate to the fit, smaller body that you have and you still feel that you are fat in your head is called phantom fat. Fat still exists in your mind. Find out if you have phantom fat here>>>

Phantom fat is a body image disorder when your mind is out of sync with your body. That’s why everyone is telling you that you are fit, but you still think that you are fat. Overcoming this false self perception might feel like an impossible obstacle. Especially when you feel like your mind is going crazy because you can’t connect to the fit body you worked so hard to achieve. Instead of giving up, I suggest rising above these crazy thoughts.

Here are 5 easy ways to overcome your body image disorder at home:

1. Dance

Fit but can't see it: how to accept your new fit body — If you feel like throwing some sand in your face when dancing, do it. Don’t hold back.

Dancing is a great way to keep your body and mind healthy. Dancing is basically a movement therapy because it creates an internal appreciation for you body. By moving around to the sound of music, you develop a greater trust of your body. This is exactly what you need when your mind and body get out of sync. Dancing is not only a great experience, it highers your coordination, balance, senses, flexibility and works your muscles. It also works the muscles that control your posture. Dancing is a great way to get in touch with your fit body after significant weight loss when you feel out of sync. It doesn’t matter what kind of a music or dance you choose, the important thing is to move your body.

The therapy: dance for an hour 3-4 times per week

2. Walk in the dark with closed eyes

In order to be able to walk with closed eyes, you will need to rely on your other senses in order to navigate. This will connect the mental image that you have of your body with the real life body you have. The secret of this simple exercise is that you will need to work with the body you currently have. You can’t walk in the dark with the image of the body that is imprinted in your subconscious! You’ll trip and fall, and bump into things! By walking in the dark with closed eyes you will see improvements in sensing your body as a whole

The therapy: Walk in the dark with your eyes closed for 10 minutes a day for 4 weeks.

3. Backward walking

Backward walking eliminates the typical heel-strike to the ground: it is the toe that touches the ground first. This might seem as a simple physical activity, but it requires a lot of brain activity as well on your side. Backward walking keeps you mentally sharp, puts your senses into overdrive, and enhances your vision. Backward walking is similar to the previous exercise (walking in the dark with closed eyes), however, you don’t need to close your eyes in this case.

The therapy: Walk backward for 10 minutes a day for five weeks.

4. Compare

Phantom fat means that you can’t see a fit body when you look in the mirror, even when others tell you that you are fit. One way to work on accepting your new fit body image is to compare it to other bodies. You clearly see what body others have, you just have a problem accepting your own image as your own body. You can do 2 types of comparison:

The A) therapy: Check yourself in the mirror when there are other people around you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a big mirror at the gym or a huge window of a shop, just check yourself. Compare the fit body you see there (your own body) with other bodies in the mirror. You’ll be surprised at how you see yourself when comparing your body to others.

The B) therapy: Ask for comparison. Ask your friend or significant other to point out someone from a crowd who has a similar fit body composition as you. You’ll be surprised! Or ask them to show you a celebrity who has a similar body as you have! This is not only a great way for you to see your body for what it is, but seeing someone who is not you will help you rationalize your body size.

5. Positive self affirmations

Self affirmations can help you not just building up your self confidence, but also to see yourself in a better light. This is exactly what you need if you are suffering from phantom fat.

Think of your body as another person. Describe it. Are you using constructive or destructive words when you describe your body? Are you criticizing any of your body parts?

Step away from negativity! Give yourself and your body the love that you deserve!

Now whenever you talk or thing about your body, turn those negative statements into positive ones! Enough of the negative self talk!

[table caption=”How to turn negative self talk into positive” width=”500″ colwidth=”250|250″ colalign=”left|left”]
Negative,Positive
It’s gross how my thighs touch when I stand with my feet together!, I am thankful for my thighs and what they can do for me! I can ride a horse perfectly!
My breasts are so small! , I love my jaw line!
[/table]

Need more help seeing your new fit body image in the mirror? Get more tips by clicking here >>>

What do your friends think when they see that you are fat?

September 22, 2015Body image problemsBody Image during and after weight loss, body image problems, distorted body image, healthy life mindset, motivationChristina Marky

You are more likely to get an honest opinion from strangers about you being fat than from your friends. When I became fit my friends finally came clean and confessed to me what they really thought about me being fat. You'd never believe what your friends think about your weight!

What do your friends think when they see that you are fat? — “Should I lie to her and tell her she’s not fat? Eh, f*ck it, I’ll wipe that smile off her face by calling her fat”

How to get an honest opinion about you being fat from your friends? Lose weight, become fit – they will grab every opportunity to express how they think that you look awesome now that you’ve lost weight and that your are not fat anymore!

Wait – what? Does this mean that my friends think that I was ugly fat before?

Yes. Actually, no. Oh, it’s complicated, just like your relationship status.

Your friends’ honest opinion about your weight (if they find you overweight and fat) is something you will never know -until you become fit! The truth is that your friends’ opinion about you being fat is clouded by their feelings for you. If they feel that you have issues with your weight and are afraid of being called fat, they might just lie to your face about you looking awesome in those stretch pants, even when your muffin top is visibly spilling over just so that they don’t hurt your feelings. Making someone feel bad about themselves and calling them fat is not a thing you want to do to your friend. And bamm, a white lie is born:

“Noooo, you are not fat! You’re just big boned!”

How to tell your friends’ honest opinion about you being fat or not?

Test: You can go the easy route and ask your friend if they think that you are fat or not. Now that the bomb is dropped, pay close attention: study your friend’s face.

He/she is lying: Is your friend looking like he or she is uncomfortable? Is her face twitching? If your answer is yes, congratulations! You just caught your friend lying! If your friend has an uncomfortable expression on her face, it means that she is uncomfortable with you asking that question if you are fat or not. She is afraid that she will hurt your feelings – hence she is telling you that she doesn’t think that you are fat. Now ask her:

– Ok, you don’t THINK that I am fat. But am I fat?

This is a way to uncover good liars: to ask the question twice. Now if they confess that they’d lied, congratulations! You just made them confess to you that you are fat!

He/she is telling the truth: Is your friend smiling? Is she relaxed? Chances are she is giving her honest opinion about your weight. If she thinks that you might take it hard to hear that you are fat, she might seem sad when telling you the obvious. A friend like that is a keeper. Someone who is not afraid to tell you the truth that you are fat, even if she thinks that she might hurt your feelings is an awesome friend. You should be proud of her, so don’t lash out on her. Even if hearing the truth that you’ve put on a lot of weight and you are fat is not what you’d want to hear. Be honest with yourself: deep down you know that you are fat. Time to put down those cupcakes and start exercising!

Friends vs true friends

There are two types of friends you will encounter while discussing your weight while you are being overweight (aka fat):

1. Friends

Friends who respect you for being comfortable with being fat

Friends whom you’ve managed to convince with your silent acceptance and grace that you accepted who you are. You accepted that you are fat, and you are fabulous!

These are the friends you like to surround yourself with, because they are boosting your self confidence and making you feel superior because you’ve managed to do what they didn’t: you’ve accepted yourself the way you are – you accepted that you are fat. Ironically, these are the friends that do you the most harm in the long run: they make you feel okay to be unhealthy fat. They make you stay in your comfort zone of being fat and being fabulous about it.

2. True friends

Friends who don’t understand why the hell you are so comfortable with being fat???

These friends are clueless about why you are carrying your fat ass with all that grace. How come you are so relaxed about being so fat? Being fat is not good for your health, so why are you so okay with being fat?

These friends can see through your charade: you did not manage to convince them that you’ve accepted who you are, that you are okay with being fat. You can’t be okay with being unhealthy! They see through you and you lying to yourself. And they don’t want to be part of that lie! You are hurting yourself with lying to yourself that you are not fat or that you are okay with being fat, and they know it. They love you enough to bring that to your attention in hopes that you would change your eating habits and lose all that fat. They are your guides to a healthier life!

If you want to change, then you should surround yourself more with these people! They will help your change, and they will give you the support you need throughout your weight loss journey!

What do you think your friends think of you? Share your opinion in the comments section below or follow my stories by subscribing to my newsletter. Click here>>>

I have been fat my whole life, do I have to stay fat forever?

September 1, 2015Body image problemsafter weight loss, Body Image during and after weight loss, fit body, healthy life mindset, motivationChristina Marky

I have a newsflash for you: you don't have to stay fat forever! I've been obese and overweight my whole life since childhood. I thought that I would have to live my life as fat forever. Don't be like the old me! Make healthy lifestyle changes and start living a healthy life today!

Fat childhood

I come from a family of overweight people and I’ve been fat as long as I can remember. Obesity runs in my family so to say. So how come I still managed to lose pounds to become fit?

Well, there is no such thing as a fat gene. Being fat has to do with your lifestyle. If your parents are overweight, it means that they are eating more than they would need to eat. Chances are that they will feed you as a kid more than what you need for your age and activity level. And if you are a good kid, you will clear your plate.

So as a little kid, this becomes a standard for you. Eating a lot. Eating unhealthy stuff. A little exercise now and then, running around in the park or with your friends occasionally, and that’s it. You see your friends, and see that most of the kids are slimmer than you are. You look at your parents, you see they are fat just like you are. You look at skinny Jenny and her mom who is also skinny. You figure that you were born this way, fat is in your genes, you can do nothing about it. It is just the way you are.

You ask your parents if you are fat, they tell you that you are not fat, you are just big boned like they are. Look at your grandma, she is also big boned. Look at your cousin, he is also big. We are one big happy family. And being happy is what counts.

You figure that chocolate makes you happy, so eating a lot of it is a good thing.

This is how a fat child became an obese child.

Fat teen years

I have been fat my whole life, do I have to stay fat forever? — Look, her boobs are bigger than her belly! That’s not fair!

Puberty hits: insecurities about yourself emerge again! Oh my god! I am ugly! All the other girls are skinny, I want to be skinny! Amy has a lump on her chest, what is that? The boys seem to like it! Why don’t I have those lumps yet? The pretty girls in class are wearing tops that shows their belly buttons! They look like Britney Spears! I can’t wear a top like that. I tried one at home, but I look ridiculous. My tummy is bigger than my boobs. I cry and my mom asks me what’s wrong, so I confess. She tells me that I should not worry, my boobs will grow. But it’s not the outside that counts, it’s what’s on the inside. I know, and I know that I am sweet on the inside, and I am being nice to everyone. But when I am alone, I still want the skinny body, visible boobs and to rock the crop top.

So after years of not being one of the pretty girls but being one of the fat girls I finally except it. I have a nice personality. I am sweet, always smiling, I seem happy. I will never have a killer body, but I don’t care. I will certainly win over my prince charming with my personality. Princess Snow White won her prince over in ugly clothes with her pretty face and sweet personality. I have a cute face and sweet personality! I can do that.

I wish I had Snow White’s body frame…

Welcome to your fat 20s

Being fat in your 20s is interesting. You are used to being fat, because you’ve been fat your whole life. You seem to be comfortable being fat. To an outside observer it might be strange to see you being so comfortable and content with your weight and size.

The more time you spend being fat, the more comfortable you seem to be with being fat for the outside observer.

This is where it becomes hard being fat. You seem content and comfortable, and you feel like you’ve accepted yourself the way you are. And then your boyfriend right after the final breakup fight, when both of you are out of things to say, goes and breaks the silence by saying:

– Oh and you are ugly fat!

You don’t say anything, but inside you something gets broken. How can someone whom you’ve shared the last 3 years of your life and loved with all your heart call you fat at the end? Is this something he always thought of you? He wasn’t prince charming on a white horse! He was the white horse! Hearing that one sentence from a loved one shifts everything. You start to feel sorry for yourself.

You are sad because of the breakup. Things didn’t work out as you planned. You feel alone. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat. You barely eat at all. After weeks and weeks of sadness, it starts to show. You lose weight, fast. You are sad, but you are at least happy about your weight loss! You don’t even care that starving yourself is not healthy. You are losing weight!

Time passes, your heart heals, and it starts beating faster for another prince charming. Turns out he likes you too! Love and happiness! You are going out on dates again! You are enjoying yourself! You go out to fancy dinners, catch a movie. Then you go steady and eating out is replaced by ordering pizza and catching a movie at home. Weekend after weekend, and you can see that all that junk food and desserts are starting to show on both of you. You and your prince became round. But you don’t care! You are happy! You are in love! Who cares about you being fat again? Your prince doesn’t! He says he likes your curves just the way they are! Hooray!

The revelation that changed my fat life forever

As you approach to your 30s, you start to feel anxious. You are still casually dating or single, you still plan to get married one day (in the distant future), but something bothers you. You are experiencing some health issues: high blood sugar, lower back problems, leg and knee pain. When you complain about these health issues, your father tells you that you are just getting old:

– If you are over 30 years old, and after you wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, it means that you are dead.

You see your parents, who are old and are experiencing all these symptoms and many more. But you feel that there is something wrong. You look at other couples, who are the age of your parents and there seems to be nothing wrong with them. They might have some minor health issues, but they are completely different than your parents’ and they are work related illnesses. So you start to wonder: how can someone reach an old age and still be healthy? What is their secret?

Well, you are asking the right questions! When you study the lives of old people who look and feel young and compare it to your parents’ life you will see that the difference is lifestyle.

You always thought of obesity as a cosmetic issue. You never considered that being obese will have it’s effect on your health.

The secret to healthy old age is through a healthy lifestyle!

Yes, you’ve heard it before, and it sounds like a cliche. But have you ever evaluated your own life? To see what kind of a lifestyle you’ve been living! Well, I evaluated mine!

I saw that if I continue to live the way I lived I will end up just like my parents: with various health problems. I saw my future. Seeing my mom deal with migraines, seeing my dad having heart problems made me feel helpless. I wanted to help them, but I couldn’t. Seeing your loved ones in pain is hard. You want to help them, but you don’t know what to do when even doctors can’t help them.

I flashed forward and I saw myself in them. I saw how my future kid will once stand by my side watch me having a migraine and just stand there and feel helpless just the way as I am feeling. This is the best case scenario. I don’t have kids, and I’m getting near my 30s. I’ll be way older than my parents by the time my kid grows into an adult. He or she will have to see me suffer even harder, and with more health issues.

This scared the sh!t out of me. I don’t want my unborn child to live through the horror of seeing old and unhealthy parents at a young age!

So what can I do about this? I can start by changing my unhealthy lifestyle to a healthy one!

Fit 30s and counting!

So I started with small steps: changing one bad habit for a healthy one. Starting to exercise and searching for the right type of exercise that will fit me. Changing my diet plan by eating more vegetables and fruits. Finding ways to manage stress by doing yoga and bringing more balance to my life. I’ve seen improvement in the quality of my life gradually. The health issues disappeared, I felt better than ever before, I’ve lost weight and I started to look better than the Disney princesses! I am over 30, and I’ve never been this fit in my life!

Could this be your story? Join me and other girls who went from fat to fit on Facebook>>>

How to go from fat to fit girl – find out in next weeks blog post on Tuesday!

Obese people who don’t see they are fat

July 14, 2015Body image problemsaccepting body, Body Image during and after weight loss, body image issues, body image problems, distorted body, distorted body image, weight loss strugglesChristina Marky

She enters the office walking confidently towards us. She is cheerful and happy, and when she sees me, tells me how she barely recognized me, I’m so thin! She pulls a chair to sit down next to us.

– Tell me, what’s your secret to going from “chubby” to thin? – she doesn’t even wait for my answer, she continues – I bet you worked out. I can’t work out, I tried, but I hate it.

I open my mouth to tell her about how you need to find the right type of workout that is fun, motivating and challenging at the same time, but my other work colleague interrupts:

– She changed her whole lifestyle! She eats differently, and works out 5 times a week! It happened slowly, it took her years to lose all that weight!

I want to start speaking, but I am yet again silenced by my female colleagues before saying even a sentence. All I am left with is nodding my head in a “yes” motion.

– Oh, I can’t diet, I just hate them. I love cake too much! What do you eat? You surely don’t eat bread!

Finally, my chance to speak up! Quickly, I must make a sound: – I don’t eat bread and pastries from the bakery, but I eat whole grain flowerless bread with various seeds.

– But do you eat meat? – she asks.

– Of course I eat meat – I answer. I try to continue because I want her to know how protein is important for muscle growth and recovery, but I am silenced again.

– I eat meat too, and I don’t eat much. Yesterday I made a delicious cake and we ate it. Then I cried to my husband that I want to eat that special chocolate cake from the bakery. He told me how I can’t have a chocolate cake, because I am always complaining how I am way too fat. But I really wanted to eat that chocolate cake, so finally we drove to the bakery to get the chocolate cake.

We were all left speechless and continued listening to her story unwind.

– I think I am fat, because the scale said so. I am way over 100 kg/220 lbs, but I can’t see it. I am just not that fat in reality. When I gain weight, it all goes to my thighs. – she touches her left thigh making her point across. And I can’t help not to notice her muffin top spilling over when she leans over like that. She is not a small woman that is sure! She sees herself slightly overweight, when in fact she is obese.

– I mean I am gaining weight for sure, but I don’t see it. I can’t wear my pants anymore because I can’t button them, so I choose to wear pants with elastic waistbands. I also have a problem to find the right sized blouses, the ones they sell have tiny armholes so my arms don’t fit through. But I am not going into those obnoxious stores for fat people! Those clothes are ugly!

We keep listening to her story and I can’t help but notice how she is struggling with body image issues exactly like I was. The only difference is that I was struggling to see my smaller fit body after I’ve lost significant weight. She is struggling to see her bigger obese body after she’s gained significant weight. I was wondering if the steps I’ve took to help me see my smaller body would help her see her bigger body. But I never got the chance to speak up after she went on and on about her life. And she clearly wasn’t interested in what I had to say – she just needed to get things that bothered her about her body and lifestyle off her mind.

If you are losing weight and are unable to see your fit body after weight loss it’s called phantom fat. Never would have imagined that there is the opposite of this condition: you are gaining weight, becoming fat, going obese and you can’t see it.

I’ve discussed the struggles regarding my fat body image I have in my head while not being able to see a fit body image reflection staring back at me from the mirror many times before:

Are you suffering from phantom phat?

Having fit body but being unable to see it: how to accept new fit body

15 things I wish I knew before I started losing weight while I was obese

I have discussed the problem of not being able to see the fit body in the mirror after significant weight loss in the past.

I still can’t get over the fact how serious conditions with body image problems such as negative body image issues are taken seriously, but body image issues that come with significant weight loss or significant weight gain do not get the attention they deserve.

To help myself after my weight loss with having a fat body image while actually being in a fit body, I had to browse through tons of self help books for low self esteem and serious negative body image issues to scan for tips that I would work in my case. I tried many of the advices that I have came across about body image issues, and what worked for me was a quick 10 minute exercise. Click here to find out about Exercise A and Exercise B >>>

Are you struggling with fat body image issues? Click here to find out!

If you want to read more about how to deal with issues related to fat body image click here >>

Please feel free to share your own story in the comments section below!

How not to deal with fit shaming people after losing weight

June 23, 2015Body image problems, Emotional issues after weight loss, Motivation to stay fitafter weight loss, Body Image during and after weight loss, downside of being fit, fit body, successful weight lossChristina Marky

“Stop losing weight, you are too thin!” is the sentence I keep hearing day after day from friends, co-workers and acquaintances I meet. Let me share with you 5 different situations I have to face fit shaming during a regular week and the lessons I’ve learned during those encounters with the good intention bullies.

Fit shaming situations and lessons I’ve learned

Day #1:

How not to deal with fit shaming people after losing weight — More people in my office building would use the stairs if we had one of these escalators.

It is a beautiful Monday morning and I am heading towards my office while taking the stairs (like always since I’ve changed my lifestyle to a healthy one). The only one taking the stairs this morning (and on other mornings) with me is one girl who works on the 1st floor and recently got into heavy cardio workout 3 times per week. While we chitchat about it’s being Monday already, I suddenly hear her say the dreaded sentence:

“Stop losing weight, you are too thin!”

Instead of ignoring it this time while thinking how Mondays hate me too I reply with a brand new well-prepared answer for these situations I haven’t tried saying and failing before:

“I am 58kg/128lbs! I don’t believe that’s thin for my height (163cm/5 ft 4 in)!”

Her reply:

“Well, it is too thin!”

Lesson #1:

I can’t win with these people.

Day #2:

Stressful day at the office, being busy. Suddenly an ex co-worker drops by to say hi. She recognizes that this is not a good time for chitchat, so she cuts it short. She is already at the door, almost opening it, when casually instead of “Goodbye”she drops the bomb:

“Don’t lose more weight, you’ll disappear!”

It is not her first time bringing this to my attention, I see her a few times a month, so it’s not like she hasn’t seen me fit. But today is the day that I choose to reply to her comment.

“I am not thin, look at all my muscles! I am 58kg/128lbs!”

She turns back, approaches me and tells me that 58kg/128lbs is almost nothing. So to prove my point of me being in a normal weight range for my height, I ask her how much does she weight.

She tells me: “You are not a woman if you are under 60kg! I weight 63kg!” and she leaves in a hurry, leaving me standing there and calculating in my head her BMI. She is way taller than I am (175cm) so if she weights 63kg it makes her BMI 20,6 which is lower than my BMI of 21,8. Yet, it’s still me, who is being bullied into not being a real woman because of her low weight.

Lesson #2:

I am being bullied about my weight by other women now that I am fit. While being obese, none of the women around me asked, mentioned or made rude remarks about my weight.

Day #3:

Running errands on a usual weekday when I bump into an old friend of mine. After a few sentences on how our lives are currently, she leans closer, lowers her voice and asks:

“What do you do to look thin like this?”

It’s like she’s expecting me to give her a well guarded secret that I somehow came across during my weight loss journey. I lean closer to her and say in a calm voice how I changed my nutrition, I eat healthy, I eat less, I regularly exercise.

“Oh, I see. I can’t do that. I don’t have time to workout. / I like cake too much. (*insert here a long list of personal excuses*)”

Lesson #3:

People say that they want to know my secret of how I’ve lost weight and became fit, when in reality they just want to hear that there is an easy way for them to do it that they haven’t heard of yet. The moment they figure out that it is discipline and hard work, they become uninterested.

Day #4:

Leaving my office for a lunch break when I meet a co-worker on the stairs going in the opposite direction. We say hi, I compliment her looks and she notices that we have matching pants! She complains about the pants getting too baggy after only two wears and I say that mine are fine. Then she looks at me from head to toe and says:

“Oh my god, look at you! You are so thin! I am not talking to you anymore!” says jokingly and leaves me there standing alone on the stairs.

Lesson #4:

If there is a grain of truth in every joke, I wonder if some women really stopped talking to me and started avoiding me out of envy after I’ve lost weight and became fit.

Day #5:

At the office again, having a coffee break (or in my case: green tea break) with my female co-workers. One of them says:

“Oh you are so thin! I can see on your face that you’ve lost weight!”

Today I’m trying out a new reply strategy, so I say:

“Thank you, I get that a lot! In fact, I get called thin every day!”

Suddenly one of my other co-workers, who is trying to lose weight herself by occasionally going on strict diets turns to me and says:

“Really? I bet your family thinks that you are too thin.” she adds.

“No, it’s not my family, they accepted the new fit me. Women around me point out every day how thin I am.”

Lesson #5:

People have no idea that fit shaming even exists. Even the woman who fit shame me are not aware of the fact that they are acting like a bully. They would never call their obese co-worker fat or obese, yet they are without a second thought calling me thin.

Interested in more tips on living a healthy life? Click here for my weekly updates>>>

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training?

June 17, 2015Emotional issues after weight loss, Motivation to stay fitafter weight loss, Body Image during and after weight loss, fit body, healthy life mindset, motivation, successful weight lossChristina Marky

You've seen woman in the weight training section of the gym lift heavy. They look strong, confident, awesome. I've also seen muscular woman in the weight training part of the gym giving away strong masculine vibes. So it made me wonder: what is it about weight training that makes some woman more feminine and shine with confidence while turning other woman into a masculine man figure with a strong toned body?

Is it the heavy weights that make woman bulky when weight training?

I’ve seen girls in the gym who avoid the weight training section and use only light weights because they are afraid of becoming too bulky. And I’ve seen girls in the gym who occupy the squat rack when weight training and are not afraid to lift heavy. In fact, they enjoy weight training. They know that weight training as a woman won’t give you a manly body, just good looking toned muscles.

There’s that great myth about weight training that weight training as a woman will make you appear bulky and manly. Click here to read more about this myth>>>

Testosterone is what makes a body look bulky. It is a male hormone. For woman, weight training helps add bone density, which prevents osteoporosis. Weight training also improves muscle mass, which is good for the overall fitness level.

So it’s definitely not the weight training and heavy weights that you lift regularly that turn you into a manly woman with bulky muscles and a manly walk.

However, I’ve also seen girls at the gym who have an awesome and toned muscular body, and give away manly vibes.

What is it that makes weight training woman looking and acting manly?

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training? — Don’t let the short hair fool you: this is a woman acting manly.

Lifting heavy certainly does not make weight training woman look and act manly.

Weight training just tones your body making it visually more pleasing. Defined muscles will only show when you flex them. It is a common misconception that weight training makes women look big and bulky.

But how can you avoid turning into a manly beast as a woman while weight training?

In order to look like big men with bulky muscles, a woman would need to produce testosterone, eat the right things and take the necessary supplements. So it is a hard work to look like The Rock, it won’t happen if you don’t make an effort. Besides, women’s bodies does not produce testosterone required to get bulky, so you won’t have to be afraid that you’ll get big by doing weight training.

However, going to the gym regularly and spending your free time among sweaty men smelling all that testosterone around you and looking at them walk might make you unconsciously mimic their behavior.

5 tips on what to do if you feel like you’ve lost your femininity while weight training

Here are some tips if you don’t want to walk and act manly after spending too much time at the gym weight training:

#1. Engage in creative leisure activities

Sometimes weight training can become boring, no matter how challenging it is for your body. If you feel like your missing creativity in your life, do something about it. Reach to your inner creativity: write a poem, hand made your jewellery, paint a silk scarf or a painting. Any activity that uses your creativity will instantly make you feel more girly.

# 2. Yoga

Doing yoga will not only benefit your health, increase your flexibility, make you sleep better, fix your posture, tone your muscles, affect your weight loss (and I could go on for ages), but it is also a good for stretching your new built muscles. I noticed that when I combine yoga and weight training, my muscles are less stiff. Adding yoga to your weight training helps you get better shaped muscles. The gentleness of yoga awakens your inner woman.

# 3. Dance

Take a zumba class, a belly dance class, or just dance in your bedroom! Dancing will make you more aware of your movements, you’ll feel the flow in the music, and you’ll be able to connect to it. Move your hips with ease and grace! This will make you feel feminine in an instant!

#4. Spend time with other women

Spending all that time at the gym surrounded by sweaty men and muscles can make a woman start acting like a man herself. If you are living in a man’s world, you have to become a man yourself. You need a balance: start spending time with other woman. Invite your girlfriends over, or go out for a coffee. Discuss girly topics, share your feelings, ask for advice. Your soul needs other woman in your life.

#5. Read a book

Make it a romantic book, poems, or a book about woman specific topics – anything that interest you and talks to your soul. There is nothing more pleasant to your woman than being immersed in a good book!

Interested in more tips on living a healthy life? Click here for my weekly updates>>>

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra size

March 3, 2015Body image problems, Emotional issues after weight lossaccepting body, body acceptance, body image distortion, Body Image during and after weight loss, body image problems, distorted body image, successful weight loss, weight loss strugglesChristina Marky

You've lost weight? Good for you! The weight came off from your breasts too? You are freaking out about your new small breasts? Fear no more! These tips will help you deal with your new bra size.

There is no such thing as spot reducing. So by losing weight the fat comes off from every part of your body: your breasts as well. Whether you like it or not, if you lose weight your breasts will become smaller. However, breasts becoming smaller is no reason for you to give up on your aspiration of losing weight in order to hit the healthy weight range. Let’s address this secretly feared issue of losing weight from breasts and having small breasts.

Does the size of breasts matter?

So my lovely ladies, does size matter? We say that size does not matter. However, when it is the size of our breasts, suddenly size is an issue.

“Oh, I wish my breasts would be bigger!”

“Why do I have such huge breasts?”

“I wish the shape of my breasts would be different…”

“I can accept that the shape of my breasts is not perfect, but can’t just the two be similar?”

Can you spot the common theme here? Whatever your complaint may be regarding your breasts, one thing is sure: you are not satisfied with the breasts you have and you want different breasts.

Many ladies struggle with because they can’t see their breasts as pretty. They struggle with accepting their breasts because the breasts they have don’t reflect the actual breast trends. These trends in breast shape and size change in time: just remember the ’60s rocket-shaped breasts or that in the ’70s breasts were allowed to sag. In the ’80s breasts supposed to be round and firm like grapefruits. Then came the ’90s when smaller, athletic breasts became trendy.

One thing we can conclude from all these breast trends is that there is no such thing as the perfect breasts. There are trendy breasts and then there are your actual breasts.

Your expectation of what breasts should look like comes from society’s current standards. So how could you be satisfied with the breasts you have when the media is constantly bombarding you with unrealistic breast shapes and sizes?

The only thing about your breasts that matters is how you experience your own breasts. [Tweet this!]

6 questions you need to answer to help you to deal with small breasts after weight loss

Take a few minutes to answer these 6 question about your breasts for yourself:

1. Describe your breasts: size, shape, sensitivity, other properties. What is your relationship with your breasts?

2. What are your nipples like in terms of size, color, shape? Is there anything you’d notice about them? Flat or inverted nipples, extra nipple or hair around nipples?

3. How does your significant other treat your breasts during sex? What do you think how men feel about female breasts? Are those feelings a biological reaction or are they influenced by media?

4. Do you feel different emotionally or physically if you wear a bra or if you go bra less? How does it make you feel?

5. Do you wear clothes that accentuate your breasts or clothes that hide your breast? Why?

6. What words are you using when talking about your breasts or describing them? How do you feel about other words that are describing breasts?

By answering these questions you’ve addressed the emotional issues arising regarding your small breasts after weight loss. But it wouldn’t be me, if I didn’t give you real hands-on advice on what to do with your small breasts. So let’s see, what can you do about your new bra size?

3 tips on small breasts after weight loss

Tip #1: Wearing a proper supporting bra for exercise is a must

Even if your breasts became smaller by losing weight, and you feel like you don’t need to wear a bra, you must wear a proper bra for breast support while engaging in any type of exercise.

The more vigorous the exercise is the more support your breasts will need. During active exercise, your breasts move up and down, side to side and front to back.

No matter how muscular you are, the underlying chest muscles don’t support breast tissue. In order to support the breast tissue you need to wear a proper sports bra while exercising. Different breasts need different kind of support for exercise: more compression, more cupping or the combination of these.

Tip #2: A well fitting bra will be your small breasts’ new best friend

Bad news for women with small breasts: breast tissue is made up of fatty tissue so as you lose fat your breast size decreases further.

If you are like me, losing weight will make you go out on a shopping spree to get new, smaller clothes, and you will forget about buying a new, smaller bra for your smaller breasts. However, a properly fitting bra is essential: you will instantly look more attractive in all your clothes! Even if you are not at your ideal weight yet, the fastest way to weight loss is to find a bra that fits, because wearing the wrong size or style bra makes you look fatter.

For determining your new bra size you could go to a department store or a lingerie shop to get fitted by a professional bra-fit specialist. Or you can do what I did, and measure yourself at home and then calculate your bra size using an online sizing guide.

Tip #3: Experiment with going braless

If you are used to wearing your bra all the time, now after losing weight and some fatty breast tissue is the time for you to start experimenting. See what happens if you go braless! The world won’t end, trust me.

Celebrate the feminine side of life by going braless today!

Want more guides on how to deal with after weight loss issues? Click here for my weekly updates>>>