Tag Archives: body image problems

My secret to developing body awareness after losing weight

My secret to developing body awareness after losing weight

My secret to developing body awareness after losing weightAs I’ve described it earlier, my biggest struggle after losing 28kg/62lbs was what I’ve experienced after: when I looked into the mirror, the image of the body I saw staring back at me felt foreign. It felt like I was looking at an unknown person imitating my moves on the other side of the mirror. I felt like I’ve also lost all sensation of my physical body as if it wasn’t there. This phenomenon is referred to as phantom fat and it is basically the loss of your body awareness.

What is body awareness?

Body awareness can be defined as a perception of your body of how you feel it internally. In simple words it means that your mind memorises where your body parts are so you don’t need to look to find different parts of your body.

Some of the benefits of increased body awareness include:

  • the skill of self regulation: accepting the limitations of your body and adapting your movements and behavior
  • getting more out of the exercises that you do: you can feel when your form is off and you can make adjustments.

When you lose body awareness

Body awareness can be defined as a perception of your body of how you feel it internally.
She lost her body awareness. And her sanity.

What happened when I’ve lost 28kg/62lbs as my body transformed from 86kb/190lbs to 58kg/128lbs is that the boundaries of my body shrinked. Imagine living your life for years in an inflatable sumo costume and then suddenly you take the suit off. Your mind plays crazy games with you: avoid a chair to sit in because it has arms when in fact they don’t even touch you anymore; you ask people to move their chair so that you could fit in the row between them and they look weirdy at you because you already fit; you think that you can’t sit on the bench where the seat and the table are attached and then you fit; in the elevator you move closer to the corner to make place for one more person and you look silly because he already entered and there’s plenty of room. The list is endless and it just drives you crazy that your mind is playing tricks on you because it can’t sense the limits of your body.

Looking in the mirror tackles another kind of creepy feelings: you don’t recognize yourself. You see the reflected image, you know it must be you but it doesn’t feel like you. Or you walk past a shop and in the window you notice someone handsome and fit on the inside and you realize that what you’re seeing is your own reflection. These are the small things that drive you crazy when you lose body awareness.

So the next thing you must do is gain your body awareness back. I already shared some of my tips that can easily help you develop your body awareness after weight loss. See these 3 easy exercises to develop body awareness here>>>

My secret to developing body awareness: yoga

Body awareness can be defined as a perception of your body of how you feel it internally. Yoga is a discipline where specific bodily postures are practiced for health and relaxation. Yoga reintroduces you to your body and your body parts while strengthening your inner knowing and body awareness. I found that in yoga the body, the breath and the mind become a union. This union helps you develop self awareness and body awareness as well.

Just by doing a simple morning routine of 20 minutes of yoga will help you a great deal to become once again in tune with your mind and body.

I suggest you start with a simple morning sequence such as Sun Salutation. You can find a detailed instruction on how to do the Sun Salutation over at Yoga Journal.

If you get further into yoga, then you can try the advanced balance poses and back-bends. Those are really good for developing body awareness!

Or if you are a beginner, then sign up to a yoga class near you to experience the benefits of yoga and to help you develop your body awareness once again after losing weight!

Need more help seeing your new fit body image in the mirror? Get more tips by clicking here >>>

Fit but can't see it: how to accept your new fit body

Fit but can’t see it: how to accept your new fit body

Losing significant amount of weight changes your body and your mind can't catch up to that change: this is why you see yourself fat when in reality you are fit. In your mind you are still fat, no matter what the scale or the image in your mirror shows.

Fit but can't see it: how to accept your new fit bodyThe body image disorder when you can’t see or can’t relate to the fit, smaller body that you have and you still feel that you are fat in your head is called phantom fat. Fat still exists in your mind. Find out if you have phantom fat here>>>

Phantom fat is a body image disorder when your mind is out of sync with your body. That’s why everyone is telling you that you are fit, but you still think that you are fat. Overcoming this false self perception might feel like an impossible obstacle. Especially when you feel like your mind is going crazy because you can’t connect to the fit body you worked so hard to achieve. Instead of giving up, I suggest rising above these crazy thoughts.

Here are 5 easy ways to overcome your body image disorder at home:

1. Dance

Fit but can't see it: how to accept your new fit body
If you feel like throwing some sand in your face when dancing, do it. Don’t hold back.

Dancing is a great way to keep your body and mind healthy. Dancing is basically a movement therapy because it creates an internal appreciation for you body. By moving around to the sound of music, you develop a greater trust of your body. This is exactly what you need when your mind and body get out of sync. Dancing is not only a great experience, it highers your coordination, balance, senses, flexibility and works your muscles. It also works the muscles that control your posture. Dancing is a great way to get in touch with your fit body after significant weight loss when you feel out of sync. It doesn’t matter what kind of a music or dance you choose, the important thing is to move your body.

The therapy: dance for an hour 3-4 times per week

2. Walk in the dark with closed eyes

Fit but can't see it: how to accept your new fit body
You can choose a safer place to take your walk in the dark. Or just walk in a tunnel.

In order to be able to walk with closed eyes, you will need to rely on your other senses in order to navigate. This will connect the mental image that you have of your body with the real life body you have. The secret of this simple exercise is that you will need to work with the body you currently have. You can’t walk in the dark with the image of the body that is imprinted in your subconscious! You’ll trip and fall, and bump into things! By walking in the dark with closed eyes you will see improvements in sensing your body as a whole

The therapy: Walk in the dark with your eyes closed for 10 minutes a day for 4 weeks.

3. Backward walking

Backward walking eliminates the typical heel-strike to the ground: it is the toe that touches the ground first. This might seem as a simple physical activity, but it requires a lot of brain activity as well on your side. Backward walking keeps you mentally sharp, puts your senses into overdrive, and enhances your vision. Backward walking is similar to the previous exercise (walking in the dark with closed eyes), however, you don’t need to close your eyes in this case.

The therapy: Walk backward for 10 minutes a day for five weeks.

4. Compare

Fit but can't see it: how to accept your new fit body
Yeah, her ass is clearly bigger than mine.

Phantom fat means that you can’t see a fit body when you look in the mirror, even when others tell you that you are fit. One way to work on accepting your new fit body image is to compare it to other bodies. You clearly see what body others have, you just have a problem accepting your own image as your own body. You can do 2 types of comparison:

The A) therapy: Check yourself in the mirror when there are other people around you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a big mirror at the gym or a huge window of a shop, just check yourself. Compare the fit body you see there (your own body) with other bodies in the mirror. You’ll be surprised at how you see yourself when comparing your body to others.

The B) therapy: Ask for comparison. Ask your friend or significant other to point out someone from a crowd who has a similar fit body composition as you. You’ll be surprised! Or ask them to show you a celebrity who has a similar body as you have! This is not only a great way for you to see your body for what it is, but seeing someone who is not you will help you rationalize your body size.

5. Positive self affirmations

Self affirmations can help you not just building up your self confidence, but also to see yourself in a better light. This is exactly what you need if you are suffering from phantom fat.

Fit but can't see it: how to accept your new fit body
Your aim is to love yourself like this old man loves himself.

Think of your body as another person. Describe it. Are you using constructive or destructive words when you describe your body? Are you criticizing any of your body parts?

Step away from negativity! Give yourself and your body the love that you deserve!

Now whenever you talk or thing about your body, turn those negative statements into positive ones! Enough of the negative self talk!

How to turn negative self talk into positive
Negative Positive
It's gross how my thighs touch when I stand with my feet together!  I am thankful for my thighs and what they can do for me! I can ride a horse perfectly!
My breasts are so small!  I love my jaw line!

Need more help seeing your new fit body image in the mirror? Get more tips by clicking here >>>

What do your friends think when they see that you are fat?

You are more likely to get an honest opinion from strangers about you being fat than from your friends. When I became fit my friends finally came clean and confessed to me what they really thought about me being fat. You'd never believe what your friends think about your weight!
What do your friends think when they see that you are fat?
“Should I lie to her and tell her she’s not fat? Eh, f*ck it, I’ll wipe that smile off her face by calling her fat”

How to get an honest opinion about you being fat from your friends? Lose weight, become fit – they will grab every opportunity to express how they think that you look awesome now that you’ve lost weight and that your are not fat anymore!

Wait – what? Does this mean that my friends think that I was ugly fat before?

Yes. Actually, no. Oh, it’s complicated, just like your relationship status.

What do your friends think when they see that you are fat?
“Oh my god, she is strangling me… with her big bones!”

Your friends’ honest opinion about your weight (if they find you overweight and fat) is something you will never know -until you become fit! The truth is that your friends’ opinion about you being fat is clouded by their feelings for you. If they feel that you have issues with your weight and are afraid of being called fat, they might just lie to your face about you looking awesome in those stretch pants, even when your muffin top is visibly spilling over just so that they don’t hurt your feelings. Making someone feel bad about themselves and calling them fat is not a thing you want to do to your friend. And bamm, a white lie is born:

“Noooo, you are not fat! You’re just big boned!”

How to tell your friends’ honest opinion about you being fat or not?

Test: You can go the easy route and ask your friend if they think that you are fat or not. Now that the bomb is dropped, pay close attention: study your friend’s face.

What do your friends think when they see that you are fat?
This is how an honest face looks like

He/she is lying: Is your friend looking like he or she is uncomfortable? Is her face twitching? If your answer is yes, congratulations! You just caught your friend lying! If your friend has an uncomfortable expression on her face, it means that she is uncomfortable with you asking that question if you are fat or not. She is afraid that she will hurt your feelings – hence she is telling you that she doesn’t think that you are fat. Now ask her:

– Ok, you don’t THINK that I am fat. But am I fat?

This is a way to uncover good liars: to ask the question twice. Now if they confess that they’d lied, congratulations! You just made them confess to you that you are fat!

He/she is telling the truth: Is your friend smiling? Is she relaxed? Chances are she is giving her honest opinion about your weight. If she thinks that you might take it hard to hear that you are fat, she might seem sad when telling you the obvious. A friend like that is a keeper. Someone who is not afraid to tell you the truth that you are fat, even if she thinks that she might hurt your feelings is an awesome friend. You should be proud of her, so don’t lash out on her. Even if hearing the truth that you’ve put on a lot of weight and you are fat is not what you’d want to hear. Be honest with yourself: deep down you know that you are fat. Time to put down those cupcakes and start exercising!

Friends vs true friends

There are two types of friends you will encounter while discussing your weight while you are being overweight (aka fat):

1. Friends

Friends who respect you for being comfortable with being fat

Friends whom you’ve managed to convince with your silent acceptance and grace that you accepted who you are. You accepted that you are fat, and you are fabulous!

What do your friends think when they see that you are fat?
“Let’s celebrate that you’ve accepted that you are fat! Bring out the balloons!”

These are the friends you like to surround yourself with, because they are boosting your self confidence and making you feel superior because you’ve managed to do what they didn’t: you’ve accepted yourself the way you are – you accepted that you are fat. Ironically, these are the friends that do you the most harm in the long run: they make you feel okay to be unhealthy fat. They make you stay in your comfort zone of being fat and being fabulous about it.

2. True friends

Friends who don’t understand why the hell you are so comfortable with being fat???

These friends are clueless about why you are carrying your fat ass with all that grace. How come you are so relaxed about being so fat? Being fat is not good for your health, so why are you so okay with being fat?

These friends can see through your charade: you did not manage to convince them that you’ve accepted who you are, that you are okay with being fat. You can’t be okay with being unhealthy! They see through you and you lying to yourself. And they don’t want to be part of that lie! You are hurting yourself with lying to yourself that you are not fat or that you are okay with being fat, and they know it. They love you enough to bring that to your attention in hopes that you would change your eating habits and lose all that fat. They are your guides to a healthier life!

If you want to change, then you should surround yourself more with these people! They will help your change, and they will give you the support you need throughout your weight loss journey!

What do you think your friends think of you? Share your opinion in the comments section below or follow my stories by subscribing to my newsletter. Click here>>>

Obese people who don't see they are fat

Obese people who don’t see they are fat

Obese people who don't see they are fatShe enters the office walking confidently towards us. She is cheerful and happy, and when she sees me, tells me how she barely recognized me, I’m so thin! She pulls a chair to sit down next to us.

– Tell me, what’s your secret to going from “chubby” to thin? – she doesn’t even wait for my answer, she continues – I bet you worked out. I can’t work out, I tried, but I hate it.

I open my mouth to tell her about how you need to find the right type of workout that is fun, motivating and challenging at the same time, but my other work colleague interrupts:

– She changed her whole lifestyle! She eats differently, and works out 5 times a week! It happened slowly, it took her years to lose all that weight!

I want to start speaking, but I am yet again silenced by my female colleagues before saying even a sentence. All I am left with is nodding my head in a “yes” motion.

– Oh, I can’t diet, I just hate them. I love cake too much! What do you eat? You surely don’t eat bread!

Finally, my chance to speak up! Quickly, I must make a sound: – I don’t eat bread and pastries from the bakery, but I eat whole grain flowerless bread with various seeds.

– But do you eat meat? – she asks.

– Of course I eat meat – I answer. I try to continue because I want her to know how protein is important for muscle growth and recovery, but I am silenced again.

– I eat meat too, and I don’t eat much. Yesterday I made a delicious cake and we ate it. Then I cried to my husband that I want to eat that special chocolate cake from the bakery. He told me how I can’t have a chocolate cake, because I am always complaining how I am way too fat. But I really wanted to eat that chocolate cake, so finally we drove to the bakery to get the chocolate cake.

We were all left speechless and continued listening to her story unwind.

– I think I am fat, because the scale said so. I am way over 100 kg/220 lbs, but I can’t see it. I am just not that fat in reality. When I gain weight, it all goes to my thighs. – she touches her left thigh making her point across. And I can’t help not to notice her muffin top spilling over when she leans over like that. She is not a small woman that is sure! She sees herself slightly overweight, when in fact she is obese.

Obese people who don't see they are fat– I mean I am gaining weight for sure, but I don’t see it. I can’t wear my pants anymore because I can’t button them, so I choose to wear pants with elastic waistbands. I also have a problem to find the right sized blouses, the ones they sell have tiny armholes so my arms don’t fit through. But I am not going into those obnoxious stores for fat people! Those clothes are ugly!

We keep listening to her story and I can’t help but notice how she is struggling with body image issues exactly like I was. The only difference is that I was struggling to see my smaller fit body after I’ve lost significant weight. She is struggling to see her bigger obese body after she’s gained significant weight. I was wondering if the steps I’ve took to help me see my smaller body would help her see her bigger body. But I never got the chance to speak up after she went on and on about her life. And she clearly wasn’t interested in what I had to say – she just needed to get things that bothered her about her body and lifestyle off her mind.

If you are losing weight and are unable to see your fit body after weight loss it’s called phantom fat. Never would have imagined that there is the opposite of this condition: you are gaining weight, becoming fat, going obese and you can’t see it.

I’ve discussed the struggles regarding my fat body image I have in my head while not being able to see a fit body image reflection staring back at me from the mirror many times before:

Are you suffering from phantom phat?

Having fit body but being unable to see it: how to accept new fit body

15 things I wish I knew before I started losing weight while I was obese

I have discussed the problem of not being able to see the fit body in the mirror after significant weight loss in the past.

I still can’t get over the fact how serious conditions with body image problems such as  negative body image issues are taken seriously, but body image issues that come with significant weight loss or significant weight gain do not get the attention they deserve.

To help myself after my weight loss with having a fat body image while actually being in a fit body, I had to browse through tons of self help books for low self esteem and serious negative body image issues to scan for tips that I would work in my case. I tried many of the advices that I have came across about body image issues, and what worked for me was a quick 10 minute exercise. Click here to find out about Exercise A and Exercise B >>>

Are you struggling with fat body image issues? Click here to find out!

If you want to read more about how to deal with issues related to fat body image click here >>

Please feel free to share your own story in the comments section below!

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit body

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit body

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit bodyAfter significant weight loss, friends, coworkers and acquaintances will start noticing your new found body. They will feel like it is time for them to compliment you on your new fit body. How can you accept these compliments without being rude or seeming awkward?

People around me noticed my weight loss and positive changes about my body way sooner than I have. It was annoying for a while to address their compliments and answer their questions about my fit body, and I hated it. But looking back I see now that their comments and questions helped me a lot with my mental barriers of accepting my new fit body.

Why people compliment on your weight loss success

I bet you want to know why someone is giving you a compliment on your weight loss. If you think that the person who complimented on your looks wants something from you, you will less likely believe the compliment. All this can make you interpret the compliment in a totally different way than it was intended.

Getting fit and losing weight affects not just your looks and attitude but also the perception of how others see you. There will be a change in people’s attitudes towards the new fit you.

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit body
“Sir, I noticed your large beer belly has vanished! You look awesome!”
Smiles: “Thank you sir for noticing my fat crying.”

Part of their changed view comes from the fact that your looks have changed, and that change in your body becomes noticeable at a first glance to others. The other reason for from the fact that it’s not just your body that changed, but your attitude as well. Your improved self confidence you’ve gained with regular workout shines through.

These are just some of the reasons why you are drawing wanted (or unwanted) attention of your friends and acquaintances. You may find this to be pleasing, and it can even give you a temporary boost in motivation to workout harder. On the other hand, if you are like me, you will find all this sudden rush of attention unwelcome and have mixed feelings about people who unexpectedly shower you with compliments, and struggle with finding the best way to deal with all that sincere or false openness.

Some people will be thrilled about your success, because you’ve accomplished what they are just hoping to achieve one day. As may it be fascinating for you at first to hear the compliments, you will grow tired of them soon after. Especially when you realize that what they say is actually a reflection of their own biases, self-doubt and flaws.

How you are currently dealing with compliments about your weight loss

Until now, you’ve dealt with compliments about your successful weight loss in one of the 3 possible ways:

  1. Rejecting the compliment
  2. Deflecting the compliment
  3. Accepting the compliment

How you are dealing with a compliment about your successful weight loss tells about you a lot.

The way you deal with compliments reflects your level of self-esteem and self-worth. [Tweet this!]

If compliments on your successful weight loss make you feel uncomfortable, it is because the compliments contradicts your own self-view.

1. Rejecting a compliment

“- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

“- No, I don’t look great.”

When it comes to compliments about your looks, an inner fat girl makes you deny that the flattery could be true.

If you have high self-esteem then you will reject the compliment because you want to be perceived as modest.

Just imagine how it feels for the other person when he or she says something nice with his or her best intentions, and you reject it. This is the worst you can do. You undermine the compliment or insult the compliment giver by rejecting a compliment about your weight loss.

2. Deflecting the compliment

There are 3 ways to deflect a compliment about your successful weight loss:

  • Self-insult:

    “- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

    “- No, I did not lose a lot of weight. My lose clothing makes me look like I’ve lost a lot of weight, but trust me, I am still fat under it.”

  • Denial:

    “- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

    “- No, I don’t. Look, I have batwings under my arms.”

  • Boomerang:

    “- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

    “- You look amazing too! Is that a new necklace you’re wearing?”

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit body
“I love your t-shirt!”
“Umm…look at this pebble.”

The problem with deflecting a compliment abut your successful weight loss is that you give the impression that you don’t respect the opinion of the person who gave you the compliment. You should return the compliment, but not right away. Say something nice about the person who gave you the compliment about your successful weight loss the next time you two meet.

3. Accepting the compliment

Your best bet is to just accept the compliment about your successful weight loss that has been given you.

“- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

“- Thanks, that’s very kind of you!”

If you want to follow it up with an explanation of how you’ve worked hard for looking like this, feel free.

Actually, accepting a compliment about your successful weight loss is a compliment for itself. By accepting the compliment someone gave you, you are suggesting them that you trust their judgement, wisdom and opinion, and you appreciate what they have to say.

Lesson on how to accept a compliment about weight loss

Even if you don’t agree with a compliment, you should take it gracefully. Respect the compliment giver by accepting the compliment. Say this if you are accepting a compliment on your successful weight loss if you don’t agree with what the other person said about you:

  • “Thank you”, “Thank you very much”
  • “Thanks, I appreciate that.”
  • “Thanks, that’s a lovely thing to say.”
  • “Thanks, that makes me feel good.”
  • “Thanks, that means a lot to me.”
  • “Thanks, you’re very kind.”

If you agree with a compliment given to you about your successful weight loss, accept the compliment by saying the following things:

  • “Thanks. I’m really glad you noticed that I’ve lost significant weight because it’s something I’m proud of too.”
  • “Thanks! I trained really hard.”

Don’t be focused on the content of the compliment when receiving one, but rather focus on receiving the compliment. And don’t forget to smile!

Want more tips on living a healthy life? Click here for my weekly updates>>>

Spring 2015 capsule wardrobe for new fit body

Spring 2015 capsule wardrobe for new fit body

The spring 2015 capsule wardrobe I’ve put together is suitable for someone who  works a 9 to 5 office job like me and likes to spend free time outside.

The concept behind my spring 2015 capsule wardrobe

Spring 2015 capsule wardrobe for new fit bodyThe concept behind my spring 2015 capsule wardrobe had to fulfill the following expectations :

  • office friendly capsule wardrobe
  • wrinkle-free blouses, shirts and skirts
  • breezy, lightweight items that are dream to wear
  • professional polished look
  • simple clothes for leisure time.

The idea of a capsule wardrobe is not just to pair down your clothing items and to have pieces that you love to wear, but also it helps you to spend less. During the 3 months you are wearing your capsule wardrobe you are not allowed to buy any other clothing items. This seemed hard at first, but turns out I really enjoyed the freedom it gave me. My mind was not occupied with seeing a top in a shop’s window and having the urge to buy it. I remembered that I already own a blouse similar to that one, and I don’t need another one. Planning my purchase helped me spend less on clothes overall, and I ended up with higher quality items that I love.

How the idea of a capsule wardrobe was born

The idea of a capsule wardrobe came to me after I’ve lost significant weight, and I needed new clothes every 2-3 weeks. I didn’t want to shop for new items every 2 weeks, so I came up with a plan to put together a capsule wardrobe that is versatile and that doesn’t require too much shopping. That is how my fall capsule wardrobe was born.

In my spring capsule wardrobe I used what I learned from my fall/winter capsule wardrobe. It turns out that I like dresses a lot, and I own a lot of them, but I don’t wear dresses that often. So I tried to get away from buying dresses for my spring capsule wardrobe, no matter how cute they were because I know I would end up not wearing them. Instead of dresses, I opted for flowy tops and skirts.

Here is my full spring 2015 capsule wardrobe.

Spring 2015 capsule wardrobe



What my spring 2015 capsule wardrobe includes and misses

What my spring 2015 capsule wardrobe includes:

  • tops
  • bottoms
  • dresses
  • outerwear
  • shoes.

What my spring 2015 capsule wardrobe does not include:

  • workout wear
  • sleepwear
  • jewelry
  • accessories
  • bags
  • swimsuits
  • underwear.

The number of items in a spring 2015 capsule wardrobe

My fall 2014 capsule wardrobe was my first attempt at a capsule wardrobe and it turned out to be a wardrobe I enjoyed so much. At first I was a bit skeptic if I could live with 37 pieces of clothing (including shoes, boots, coats, outerwear). But turns out that I don’t wear more clothing items than that, so I even ended up with pieces I only wore once or twice.

For my spring 2015 capsule wardrobe I wanted to try with even less items, so it ended up 21 items instead of 37 pieces. I figured the weather is nicer, so you don’t actually need much clothing items. We’ll see how it goes.

Got inspired to build your own spring capsule wardrobe? Check out my spring 2015 outfit inspo album on Pinterest for inspiration! Click here>>>

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Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra size

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra size

You've lost weight? Good for you! The weight came off from your breasts too? You are freaking out about your new small breasts? Fear no more! These tips will help you deal with your new bra size.

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra sizeThere is no such thing as spot reducing. So by losing weight the fat comes off from every part of your body: your breasts as well. Whether you like it or not, if you lose weight your breasts will become smaller. However, breasts becoming smaller is no reason for you to give up on your aspiration of losing weight in order to hit the healthy weight range. Let’s address this secretly feared issue of losing weight from breasts and having small breasts.

Does the size of breasts matter?

So my lovely ladies, does size matter? We say that size does not matter. However, when it is the size of our breasts, suddenly size is an issue.

“Oh, I wish my breasts would be bigger!”

“Why do I have such huge breasts?”

“I wish the shape of my breasts would be different…”

“I can accept that the shape of my breasts is not perfect, but can’t just the two be similar?”

Can you spot the common theme here? Whatever your complaint may be regarding your breasts, one thing is sure: you are not satisfied with the breasts you have and you want different breasts.

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra sizeMany ladies struggle with because they can’t see their breasts as pretty. They struggle with accepting their breasts because the breasts they have don’t reflect the actual breast trends. These trends in breast shape and size change in time: just remember the ’60s rocket-shaped breasts or that in the ’70s breasts were allowed to sag. In the ’80s breasts supposed to be round and firm like grapefruits. Then came the ’90s when smaller, athletic breasts became trendy.

One thing we can conclude from all these breast trends is that there is no such thing as the perfect breasts. There are trendy breasts and then there are your actual breasts.

Your expectation of what breasts should look like comes from society’s current standards. So how could you be satisfied with the breasts you have when the media is constantly bombarding you with unrealistic breast shapes and sizes?

The only thing about your breasts that matters is how you experience your own breasts. [Tweet this!]

6 questions you need to answer to help you to deal with small breasts after weight loss

Take a few minutes to answer these 6 question about your breasts for yourself:

1. Describe your breasts: size, shape, sensitivity, other properties. What is your relationship with your breasts?

2. What are your nipples like in terms of size, color, shape? Is there anything you’d notice about them? Flat or inverted nipples, extra nipple or hair around nipples?

3. How does your significant other treat your breasts during sex? What do you think how men feel about female breasts? Are those feelings a biological reaction or are they influenced by media?

4. Do you feel different emotionally or physically if you wear a bra or if you go bra less? How does it make you feel?

5. Do you wear clothes that accentuate your breasts or clothes that hide your breast? Why?

6. What words are you using when talking about your breasts or describing them? How do you feel about other words that are describing breasts?

By answering these questions you’ve addressed the emotional issues arising regarding your small breasts after weight loss. But it wouldn’t be me, if I didn’t give you real hands-on advice on what to do with your small breasts. So let’s see, what can you do about your new bra size?

3 tips on small breasts after weight loss

Tip #1: Wearing a proper supporting bra for exercise is a must

Even if your breasts became smaller by losing weight, and you feel like you don’t need to wear a bra, you must wear a proper bra for breast support while engaging in any type of exercise.

The more vigorous the exercise is the more support your breasts will need. During active exercise, your breasts move up and down, side to side and front to back.

No matter how muscular you are, the underlying chest muscles don’t support breast tissue. In order to support the breast tissue you need to wear a proper sports bra while exercising. Different breasts need different kind of support for exercise: more compression, more cupping or the combination of these.

Tip #2: A well fitting bra will be your small breasts’ new best friend

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra sizeBad news for women with small breasts: breast tissue is made up of fatty tissue so as you lose fat your breast size decreases further.

If you are like me, losing weight will make you go out on a shopping spree to get new, smaller clothes, and you will forget about buying a new, smaller bra for your smaller breasts. However, a properly fitting bra is essential: you will instantly look more attractive in all your clothes! Even if you are not at your ideal weight yet, the fastest way to weight loss is to find a bra that fits, because wearing the wrong size or style bra makes you look fatter.

For determining your new bra size you could go to a department store or a lingerie shop to get fitted by a professional bra-fit specialist. Or you can do what I did, and measure yourself at home and then calculate your bra size using an online sizing guide.

Tip #3: Experiment with going braless

If you are used to wearing your bra all the time, now after losing weight and some fatty breast tissue is the time for you to start experimenting. See what happens if you go braless! The world won’t end, trust me.

Celebrate the feminine side of life by going braless today!

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How to accept fit body after weight loss

Having fit body but being unable to see it: how to accept new fit body

How to accept fit body after weight lossRemember how I’ve had problems dealing with phantom fat in the past? I struggled with accepting my smaller fit body after being obese and fat most of my life.

After losing weight and becoming fit the issue that I am struggling with is similar to seeing a fat self image instead of a new fit body. The problem I am having is that I can’t see the muscles and my body for what it is. After losing significant weight and becoming fit I started weightlifting because I was losing more muscle than fat. So I figured that weightlifting is a way to go to improve my new fit body. Plus, I’ve read awesome things about the benefits of weightlifting for a woman, so I had to give it a try.

How to address the emotional side of not being able to see your new fit body for what it is

How to accept fit body after losing weightAs it feels awesome to be able to carry my own groceries, it feels strange to look in the mirror at the gym to see muscles on my body where there used to be fat. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have manly muscles, because a woman can’t just get muscular like that with no additional work. I have nice, visible muscles, that give my whole fit body a more feminine look. I look like a girl-beast only when I flex my muscles (joking). My tummy is flat and my abs are visible for the first time in my life! So it’s pretty fun to look at my new fit body in the mirror, but yet again I feel like my mind has not caught up to the fit body I have in reality. I see myself in the mirror, I know it’s me, but that fit body that is looking back at me from the mirror surely isn’t my body, because I am not so fit and muscular.

I remembered the last time when I felt like this was when I lost weight and I was looking at my fit body in the mirror and feeling unable relating to it. It is happening again with my fit body. However, I lived through this before, so this time it doesn’t make me think that I am insane for not being able to see my fit body for what it is in reality.

I know that not being able to see my fit body is just a temporary phase and that my mind just needs a little more time to accept the new fit body. [Tweet this!]

I find revelation in the fact that I’ve been through this before, and successfully accepted my fit body. Now I once again need to accept my more muscular new fit body.

What can I do to speed up the progress of my mind accepting my new fit body?

Having the fit body of your dreams is new: your mind will need time to accept it. It will happen with time, but hey, let’s just speed up this process of your brain accepting your new body:

  1. Look at yourself more often: take a photo of your fit body where your muscles are showing and put the photo on the fridge or another visible place
  2. Get workout clothes that accentuate fit body features in the most flattering manner: look for a pair of workout pants and/or dry fit top that will make you look into the gym mirror more often!
  3. Take progress pictures: even if you don’t see your fit body gains in the mirror, looking back at older pictures (even if it was taken a month ago) will make you see how far you’ve come.
  4. Ask for reassurance: ask a friend or a significant other you trust if they see your muscles on your new fit body. My significant other wants to touch my abs all the time! Just don’t make it a habit to ask for reassurance a lot. Always think about your intent before asking for reassurance. Is your goal to remind yourself of what you already know?
  5. Compare: Look yourself in the mirror at the gym while working out and compare the fit body you see there with other bodies in the gym. You’ll see how far you’ve come.
  6. Go window shopping: Pick something out that you would never have dared to wear before and try it on just for the fun of it! I was trying on some dresses that I would have never even thought of wearing before. I didn’t buy it, because I have nowhere to wear it, but damn, I looked good!
  7. Ask for comparing: ask your friend or significant other to point out someone from a crowd of people or a celebrity who has a similar fit body composition as you. You’ll be surprised! Also, seeing other people who are similar to you will not trigger the same emotional response as seeing a picture of yourself would, therefore it’s helping you rationalize.

Could this be your story too? Are you are struggling with accepting your new fit body? Join my group of struggling girls on Google+! Don’t like other people? Sign up for an update about new posts! Click here>>>

Afraid of going alone to the gym? 4 tips to help you go to the gym for the first time as a girl

Afraid of going alone to the gym? 4 tips to help you go to the gym for the first time as a girl

Afraid of going alone to the gym? 4 tips to help you go to the gym for the first time as a girl
If you are lucky, your gym will be this empty on your first visit.

I was afraid of going alone to the gym as a girl. I was afraid of going alone to the “manly” section of the gym to start lifting weights. I remember planning to go to the gym alone for days. What occupied my mind was the moment when I’d step into the manly section of the gym to start my routine of lifting weights. I imagined that every person in the gym would look at me walking towards the weight rack, judging me. It was awful. It took me days to gather courage to actually go to the gym. But I wanted to go alone. I knew about the benefits of lifting weights for girls. I wanted to be that girl. The girl at the gym who is lifting weights.

Going to the gym alone to workout and start lifting weights can be intimidating for a girl. Here is a guide to get you on the road of going alone to the gym for the first time:

1. Pretend like you belong there

Afraid of going alone to the gym? 4 tips to help you go to the gym for the first time as a girl
Use this machine until your anxiety settles.

Fake it till you make it! Pretend like you know what you are doing. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t prepare yourself for your first time going alone to the gym. Pick out a workout plan that fits your level of fitness, know exactly what exercises you will be doing at the gym, in what order. Study the exercises you are about to do. Watch YouTube videos of proper forms of the exercises. Use the mirrors in the gym, they are there so you can check yourself and your form (and later to see your sexy body and flex your muscles!). Do everything that you feel like you need to do in order for you to feel ready for your first time going alone to the gym. Then just walk in and pretend like you belong there. Let me tell you a secret: chances are, the others are faking it as well. Also, don’t be afraid to stand around and stare at the equipment or look around to see if it is the machine you’re looking for.

2. Use warm up and cardio for making yourself comfortable

You need to warm up before engaging in any exercise activity. Use this time to calm your mind. If you are used to running, then use the treadmill to get your pulse up and watch other people around you. This will make you feel like you fit in with the gym locals. If your goal is to start lifting weights, then do what I did: use the weight room for warm up exercises so you can assess the situation before starting your lifting routine.

3. Have a workout plan

Afraid of going alone to the gym? 4 tips to help you go to the gym for the first time as a girl
What are these things called? I had no idea when I first went alone to the gym and it didn’t stop me from going.

Know what you are there for. You surely have a goal set ahead of you (for choosing a goal, visit XXFitness FAQ). Whether it is losing weight and fat, gaining muscle and strength, improving your cardio and heart health or toning up your body, you will need a workout plan for it. Pick a workout plan in advance that works towards your goals. I started lifting weights with the Stronglifts 5×5 app, because having my phone with me at the gym and using the built-in timer for counting rest time between sets seemed like a good idea. Knowing that I can see the exercises on my phone gave me the courage to act like I knew what I was doing. Or you could just have pictures of exercises on your phone to remind yourself of the exercises you will be doing. Nowadays I just use 3 different post it notes with the exercises scribbled down with cute stick figures performing the exercise that I rotate on my 3-day workout days.

4. You are awesome for even thinking about going alone to the gym

If you’d have ever spent time in a gym, you’d seen that most people there are noobs. Not many people know what they are doing. So don’t be afraid to be one of the noobs. Everyone has to start somewhere. By having a workout goal and a workout plan, you are already in the scarce minority. Just look around among your friends: the reason of why you even thought of going alone in the gym in the first place is because there is no one around you to keep you company. So committing to going alone to the gym, you already placed yourself in the scarce minority of people that actually care about their lifestyle. Congratulations, by researching the proper form of exercises and attempting them you further narrowed yourself to make the awesome gym people cut!

Just remember: it takes one step at a time, and the first step is the hardest! Everyone at the gym had to start somewhere, so nobody in their right mind is going to judge you for being a beginner. Don’t worry, no one is there to watch you working out. At least not yet!

Found this guide useful? Get more useful quick tips on how to motivate yourself towards a lifestyle filled with healthy habits! Click here>>>

Starting a 30 day water challenge? 4 alarming issues you need to address

Starting a 30 day water challenge? 4 alarming issues you need to address

water glassA lot of you asked about the 30 day water challenge I’ve completed, so here you will find answers from how much water should you drink during the water challenge to how often should you drink, as well as advice to 4 alarming issues you will come across during those 30 days.

If you are reading this, then it means that you are ready to start your 30 day water challenge and you need no more proof of the benefits of drinking more water. However, if you are still not convinced of the benefits, head over here to read about the results you could have after completing the 30 day water challenge>>>

The rules of the 30 day water challenge are simple: you drink 1 gallon/3.7 liters of water for 30 days. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But there are questions that will emerge after you start the 30 day water challenge – so let’s address them one by one:

1. How much water should I drink during the 30 day water challenge?

water_drinking_planThe starting rule is to daily drink 1 gallon/3.7 liters of water for 30 days. If you are anything like me, you have busy and hectic workweek and eventful weekends, and at some point you will just forget to drink enough water.

So start the 30 day water challenge by creating a water drinking plan for yourself to drink that 1 gallon/3.7 liter water a day.

    • My weekday water drinking plan was that on weekdays I drank 2×50 oz/2×1.5 l during my office hours from 9 till 5, and then drank my my 26 oz/0.75 l workout bottle during my afternoon workout. The truth is that this water drinking plan worked perfectly on weekdays, however on weekends I needed another plan to meet my water goal of 1 gallon/3.7 liters.
    • The weekend water drinking plan that worked for me was to drink a glass of water before and after every meal. On Saturday mornings I drank a glass of water right after I woke up, then 1 more glass after my morning routine of washing face, teeth, and dressing up for the day, and 1 more glass of water during/after breakfast. With 4 meals a day, I still had to fill my 26 oz/0.75 l workout bottle twice a day and carry it around with me to come close to my goal of 1 gallon/3.7 liters.
    • I recommend drinking just water, but at first it might feel too overwhelming and boring. This is when you can spice things up! If you are tired of drinking just pure water, try infusing water with various fruits and herbs! Your taste buds will thank you, and it still counts as drinking water! What I’ve found useful, is this water bottle that you can drag around with you all day and have different fruit flavored water every day!

2. How much water should I drink all in one during the 30 day water challenge?

Water cure
“Let’s cure him of those pesky electrolytes!”

Don’t drink 1 gallon/3.7 liters of water all at once, because water poisoning is a real thing. It happens when you wash out the electrolytes that your body needs. In fact, this was used as a way of torture in the Medieval century.

To avoid water poisoning, just don’t drink more than 0.21 gallons/0.8 liter of water in an hour. If you have healthy kidneys, they filter 0.21 – 0.26 gallons/0.8-1 liter of water per hour. See this list of risk factors for water poisoning. If you have your reservations about drinking 1 gallon/3.7 liter water a day for 30 days, consult with your doctor.

Don’t worry too much, because if you are anything like me, then usually you don’t drink enough water. So at the beginning of your 30 day water challenge, your main problem will be to get used to remind yourself to drink water – the risk of water poisoning won’t be on the table until later on. Only when you develop the habit to drink plenty water, and get used to visiting the toilet more frequently, you might face the problem of drinking excess amount of water in a short period of time.

Don’t let the thought of water poisoning discourage you in starting your 30 day water challenge, because drinking lots of water has many benefits. But just like all the other issues  in your life, you must be mindful of your water intake frequency. You easily can prevent water poisoning if you distribute your water intake throughout the day.

So the next question that pops into your head should be:

3. How often should I drink during the 30 day water challenge?

Distribute your water intake throughout the day: drink water in the morning, before and after meals, during workout, during work and running errands.Starting a 30 day water challenge? 4 alarming issues you need to address

During my 30 day water challenge, I was drinking 2×50 oz/2×1.5 l during my office hours, and a 26 oz/0.75 l workout bottle during my afternoon workout on weekdays. On weekends I usually failed to meet the 1 gallon/3.7 liters goal; tried hard coming close to it by drinking a glass of water right after I woke up, then 1 glass after my morning routine, and 1 more glass of water during/after breakfast, and drinking 1 glass of water before and after my other 3 meals.

Your goal is to get close to your daily water intake of 1 gallons/3.7 liters, but don’t overstress if you fail. There are days when you won’t make your goal, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t experience the benefits of your 30 day water challenge.

4. Does soda/coffee/tea/juices count as drinking water during the 30 day water challenge?

hot coffeeIf you want to strictly follow the rules of the 30 day water challenge, then you shouldn’t drink sweetened soda/coffee/tea/juices nor alcohol at all. In fact, you could stop to drink sweetened drinks even after the 30 day water challenge is over! Changing your drinks from soda/juices to pure water is your best bet towards a healthy lifestyle. So during the 30 days, start by taking your coffee/tea without sugar, honey or artificial sweeteners. Swap soda and juices with water! Limit your alcohol intake.

During my 30 day water challenge, I drank one coffee in the morning without sugar and just a little bit of milk. Stopped drinking sweetened beverages a long time ago, and drank water instead, so that wasn’t a problem. However, I like to drink a glass of vine few times a week with my dinner – so I limited this to one glass per week. It was a special treat to drink a glass of vine for my romantic weekend dinners.

To sum it up: consider the water in unsweetened coffee or tea, but don’t count the once-a-week alcohol if you are choosing to have that fun drink.

Ready to start you 30 day water challenge? Way to go! If you have any questions about the 30 day water challenge before you start it or during it, feel free to ask it in the comments section below.