Category Archives: Emotional issues after weight loss

How to deal with depression and anger arising after weight loss

Can doing yoga help you accept your new body after weight loss?

The health benefits of doing yoga are endless: relaxes you and makes you focus, improves flexibility, builds muscle strength, perfects posture, increases blood flow, helps you sleep better, boosts immunity and so on. But can doing yoga help you deal with phantom fat after significant weight loss and help you accept your new fit body?

If you are following my blog, you are familiar with the issue that I had to tackle after losing significant weight: when I looked in the mirror, I saw a new fit body and I couldn’t relate to it. I had many other symptoms regarding of not being aware of my smaller body. Read more about my struggle with dealing with phantom fat here>>>

How can doing yoga help you accept your new body after weight loss

Yoga is not just a simple form of exercise. It is way more: it helps you develop a mind-body-soul connection. Your body can influence your mind. If you’ve taken a nice long walk in the park after a long stressful day to ease your mind and set yourself in a better mood, you know exactly what I’m talking about. On the other hand, your mind can influence your body as well: becoming embarrassed makes you blush in an instant. As social psychologist Amy Cuddy illustrated in her TED talk: just try one of the power poses – stand in a gladiator posture of confidence even when you don’t feel confident in order to improve your level of confidence immediately! This is a simple demonstration of how a certain body pose has an affect on your mind.

4 yoga exercises for accepting your new body after weight loss

Here is a list of yoga poses that helped me accept my new fit body after losing more than 26 kg / 57 lbs and having a hard time adjusting to my new fit body:

1. Tree Pose (Vrikshasana)

Can doing yoga help you accept your new body after weight loss? How: Start from standing straight and shift your weight to your left leg. The entire sole of the foot should remain in contact with the floor. Bend your right knee and bring your right foot on the left inner thigh.The hips should be open with the right knee pointing toward the right. Bring your hands in front of you in a praying position. If you feel comfortable, raise your hands clasped together above your head. Hold this position for 20 to 60 seconds, and then bring down your right leg and repeat on the other side.

Why it works: It improves balance, posture and concentration. Practicing this pose has positive benefits on overall balance and coordination.

Contraindications: Knee or hip injury.

2. Warrior 1 (Virabhadrasana I)

How: Stand straight and stretch up your arms, palms touching. Inhale and spread your legs sideways by creating a gap of 2/3 body height. Exhale and turn your trunk facing right while rotating your right foot to face forward and slightly rotate your left foot to the left. Bend your right knee for your thigh to become parallel with the ground. Now your head, chest and right knee and foot should face forward. Hold this pose for 5 breaths, and then repeat on the other side.

Can doing yoga help you accept your new body after weight loss?

Why it works: Helps you develop concentration, balance and achieve groundedness.

Contraindications: Hip, knee, back or shoulder injury.

3. Cobra pose (Bhujangasana)

Can doing yoga help you accept your new body after weight loss?How: Lay on the ground with your chest facing down. Keeping your palms and legs on the floor, lift your chest.

Why it works: It strengthens the spine and stretches your chest and stomach. It relieves stress and fatigue.

4. Bow pose (Dhanurasana)

Can doing yoga help you accept your new body after weight loss?How: Lay on the ground with your chest facing down. lie Grasp both of your feet with your hands to lift your legs and chest to form a bow. Remain in this position for some time, and try to swing back and forth or to the side.

Why it works: It opens up the chest, neck and shoulders. Has a beneficial effect on the whole body.

Need more help seeing your new fit body image in the mirror? Get more tips by clicking here >>>

What to do when the fear of becoming fat ruins your life

What to do when the fear of becoming fat ruins your lifeThe fear of becoming fat was never so strong as it is now that I’ve lost significant weight and became fit. Let’s find out why is the fear of becoming fat again ruining your fit life.

After losing weight and becoming fit you will encounter more and more emotional issues that you’ve never had to dealt with before while being fat. These will vary from issues on how to deal with friends and family saying that you are too thin to being afraid of the numbers on the scale going up and you becoming fat again. The fear of getting fat again is the worst, because it won’t just go away by itself unless you deal with it.

How the fear of becoming fat ruins your life

What to do when the fear of becoming fat ruins your lifeWhat you need to know is that everyone who lost weight gets to a point where they experience fear of getting fat again. In small doses this can be a good thing: the fear of getting fat can motivate you, give you fuel for your workout. What you need to address is when the fear of getting fat again starts to ruin your everyday life.

So how can you tell if you have an irrational fear from getting fat again? Here are the most general symptoms of the irrational fear of getting fat again:

  • You avoid food

You are afraid to eat that slice of cake on your birthday, because you are afraid that it will make you fat again.

  • You are obsessed with losing weight

You don’t care if you lose muscle instead of fat. The important thing for you is to lose weight. This can leave you with health problems.

  • You avoid the scale

You are afraid to step on the scale because it might show you the truth that you’ve gained weight. And you can’t deal with that mentally. You are so afraid that you avoid thinking about it.

  • You feel guilt when eating

Eating one more chicken breast or drinking one more glass of yogurt makes you feel guilty. Even when you know that what you are eating is healthy, you still feel guilt for eating.

  • You don’t feel hunger

You starved yourself so much out of fear of getting fat that you don’t feel hunger anymore. This is a wake up call: your fear of getting fat again is ruining your life!

Recognized yourself? Time to address your fear of getting fat again!

What to do to get rid of the fear of becoming fat again

Here are 3 methods to help you get rid of the fear of becoming fat again:

Method #1.: Analyze your fear of becoming fat again

What to do when the fear of becoming fat ruins your lifeDon’t just ignore your fear of becoming fat again: acknowledge it. The cliche you hear that the first step towards healing is that you identify that you have a problem is true. So what you need to do is to stop denying that you have a fear of becoming fat. It might help you to write it down what it really is that you are afraid of.

What is it in your past that got you here where you are now? How long do you have this fear of becoming fat again? What triggers your fear of becoming fat? How do you react when the fear of becoming fat emerges? Does it make you run an extra mile? Does it make you stop eating? You need to know this about yourself in order for you to be able to deal with the fear of becoming fat again.

When you start to understand your fear of becoming fat again, it is the time to think about what you want to change.

Method #2.: Take control of your fear of becoming fat again

Imagine the worst case scenario: what is the worst thing that could happen? You gain some weight. That’s no big thing, you’ve dealt with it before. You know how you can lose significant amount of weight. So you certainly know how to lose a few extra pounds in case you gain a little extra.

Be prepared to confront your fear of becoming fat again many times before you conquer it. Directly confronting a fear of becoming fat again is hard, and it is okay to fail. Just remember: it’s how you handle failures that leads you to success.

Method #3.: Change the way you think about your fear of becoming fat again

What to do when the fear of becoming fat ruins your lifeLearn about the source of your fear of becoming fat again: why does it have such a hold on you? Try to see your fear of becoming fat again as an opportunity that will help you to identify a problem in your life. Identifying it is the first step towards solving it. Maybe you are afraid of becoming fat again because this is your first time of being fit and you are in a new situation in life. You need to know this situation better. If you are afraid of becoming fat because you don’t want to be fat again, take this fear and think of it as help.

Come up with a detailed plan of actions you are going to take if you start gaining fat. Identify what is going to be your first mark of knowing that you are starting to gain fat. Your pants are getting tighter around your waist? You feel tired all the time? Be realistic: the first mark certainly isn’t you eating that cupcake for the first time after a long time. Eating the 5th cupcake and it isn’t even noon? Now that’s something you need to worry about.

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Still afraid of getting fat again? No problem! Read my 7 tips on how to live without the fear of getting fat again!

Sex after weight loss: the truth everyone who lost weight is afraid to openly admit

Sex after weight loss: the truth everyone who lost weight is afraid to openly admit

Sex after weight loss: the truth everyone who lost weight is afraid to openly admitThe truth everyone who lost weight is afraid to openly admit is: sex becomes better after weight loss. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t say that for you to enjoy sex you can’t be overweight or obese and must be fit. Everyone is entitled to enjoy sex, and you may be obese and still have a sexual drive of a rabbit, always ready to go. The secret I’m going to share with you here is how significant weight loss will affect the way you are having sex.

How becoming fit effects your sexual drive in a positive way:

1. New sex positions you are able to get into

And I don’t only mean deeper penetration, because that’s not what every woman enjoys. However there are certain positions that were out of the question while you were fat that are now available for you now after your weight loss. I found myself discovering this unintentionally during one intercourse after I’ve lost significant amount of weight. It didn’t come up during the act itself, but the fact that we couldn’t do that pose earlier while I was fat was pointed out by my significant other. And I didn’t get upset as you would expect; I got all excited about it, and it filled me with happiness that going from fat to fit had it benefits on my sex life I never expected!

After weight loss you are able to try various sexual positions that were impossible before while you were fat. For a complete list of position tips see Wikipedia’s sex positions article.

2. Increased stamina

Sexual stamina is defined as a person’s ability to sustain sexual intercourse before they tire out. If you have high stamina, you can have sex for longer without getting tired. You may also be able to have sex in positions that require more strength. If you have low stamina, you get tired easily from all that vigorous sex and can have a hard time maintaining your level of arousal. Sex after weight loss: the truth everyone who lost weight is afraid to openly admit

With weight loss while engaging in regular exercise my different muscle groups strengthened. This resulted not only in increased stamina during sex but also I enabled myself to get into sex positions that work my muscle groups that I couldn’t get myself into before while I was fat. Only after a few weeks of strength training, you will be able to see results in bed: some poses will be more enjoyable when you can easily hold yourself in them thanks to your muscles. I didn’t even realize how much of a mood breaker it was before for me that I couldn’t hold myself with my arms for long in certain positions.

With increased stamina after weight loss you will be open to experiment more and have longer sessions because you’re not tired out and can keep on going.

3. Increased sexual self-esteem

You did it, you’ve lost weight! Yey for you! You’ve set a goal, worked hard, and achieved it. You might feel that this is not a permanent state and that you still have other goals to achieve, but take a moment to really appreciate what you’ve done here. You put your mind to something, made sacrifices, worked hard, and achieved what you intended to! Take a few minutes to think about it. You did it. Let it sink in.

If you had low self esteem until this point, then it needs to be increased! You achieved something for yourself and yourself only! Way to go!

Self-esteem means having self-confidence, liking yourself, having a healthy level of achievement in your life and having respect of others. Confidence is considered sexy.

Higher self-esteem affects your sexual self-esteem in a positive way. It makes you open for a new kind of way of receiving and giving affection.

4. Losing weight stimulates sex hormones

There is a research that suggests that losing even a small amount of weight, even 10 pounds, is enough to stimulate your sex hormones. Personally I didn’t experience this.

Research says that in overweight women the sex drive and the desire are affected. Apparently it is related to the amount of body fat you have. If your body fat is high, chances are that your SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) levels are high as well. SHBG binds to testosterone the sex hormone. It makes low testosterone levels, so there is less that can stimulate desire.

So apparently weight loss has a positive effect on your sexual desire as well. I believe that it might be true in some cases, but the truth is that I’ve seen overweight people who don’t have a problem with desire, and I haven’t experiences problems while I was obese and overweight either.

You just read 4 facts how becoming fit effects your sexual drive in a positive way, but let me tell you something: there are no words to describe the happiness that you feel when you find out all these benefits for yourself. So keep yourself motivated to become and stay fit!

Did you know I’ve shared my secret of how I’ve went from fat to fit girl? Be sure to read how I’ve lost 60 lbs! Click here>>>

How to deal with fear of getting fat again while being fit

How to deal with fear of getting fat again while being fit

Are you afraid of getting fat again? Learn to live without the fear of getting fat again.

How to deal with fear of getting fat again while being fitTrading an unhealthy lifestyle for a healthy one. Finding time for exercise. Starting exercising regularly. Making eating healthy and leading an active life a top priority. Seeing result. Small scale victory. Introducing a new type of exercise. Adjusting your meals and meal proportions. Giving up chocolate. Losing fat on your hips. Needing smaller clothes. Redefining your whole wardrobe to fit your smaller body. Going to the gym for the first time. Buying the first quality gym clothes. Wearing it to workout instead of those ratty old sweat pants. People complementing you on how you’ve lost weight. You being able to see your new fit body in the mirror. It’s a long journey, it doesn’t happen in a week, it takes time, dedication. And then starting to obsess over getting fat again.

Being afraid of becoming fat again will be one of the issues you will need to address after you lose significant weight and become fit.

The reasons behind being afraid of becoming fat again

First of all, you will need to identify why is  it that you feel like you need to be afraid of getting fat again. Take your time to think about why you are afraid of becoming fat again. Think hard, dig deep. Be honest with yourself about why you are afraid of becoming fat again!

Are you afraid of becoming fat again because you:

#1. Skipped regular  workouts for weeks?

#2. Started eating more junk food and/or sweets?

#3. Scale is showing weight gain?

#4. None of the above!

Now that you’ve identified of why you are afraid of getting fat again you will need to address that fear. Find the reason below and read the tips on how to live without the fear of getting fat again.

7 tips to live without the fear of getting fat again

Choose one of the 4 reasons listed above for you being afraid of becoming fat again, and read on to see how to address that issue efficiently.

Reason #1: Skipped regular  workouts for weeks

You have guilty conscience because you’ve skipped workouts. The fear of becoming fat again is your conscience telling you that you’ve fallen off the right tracks you were on. This is actually a good thing, meaning that your body and mind cares about your health. It is warning you that you need to get back to your active lifestyle.

a.) In case of being lazy or life interfering

In order to silence your conscience, you will need to start exercising again. If you’ve had a longer break, then introduce yourself to exercising slowly. Start by exercising 2 times per week, and then gradually increase that, until you reach the desired number of times and hours per week you were satisfied with.

>>>How to restart workout routine

b.) In case of injury or sickness

In case you have an injury or are unable to workout for a longer period of time, see this guide to help you maintain your weight and gains>>>

>>>How not to freak out about losing workout routine while injured or sick

Reason #2: Started eating more junk food and/or sweets

See why is it that you have the need to eat more junk food or sweets?

a.) In case you’re easing an emotional situation with eating

How to deal with fear of getting fat again while being fitLooking back I see that one of the reasons I became obese was because of how I handled stress. Every time I faced stress, I ate. Sometimes I ate anything I could put my hands on: chocolate, biscuits, leftovers from the fridge. You name anything, if I was stressed, I ate it.

Eating to ease stress or sadness is a coping mechanism. After you eat, the parasympathetic nervous system gets active when your body hits the “rest and digest” state. Basically you fall into rest mode. So it makes it a perfect subject for misusing this system. Feeling anxious? Stressed? Sad? EAT! Whoah, I feel calm and comforted now.

Solution: Find another way to cope with stress. I started doing yoga and meditating for 20 minutes per day, but you can use anything that helps you handle stress (unless it’s eating junk food and sweets).

b.) In case you’re eating more because you are hungry

In this case you need to examine your hunger. One of the reasons might be that you are starving yourself and your body needs more food and that’s why you are feeling hungry. Maybe the number of calories you calculated that you need to eat are not enough: it depends on your activity level as well. So if you are doing more vigorous exercise such as weight training, you will need to eat more. Just make it a healthy foods, with the right amount of protein/fats/carbs. And most importantly:

Eat until 80% full.

The other reason behind eating more may be that your meals are not balanced out throughout the day. I used to hardly eat during the day while at the office, so naturally I became really hungry once I got home. So I ate my lunch/supper, dessert, chocolate, fruits, nuts, ice cream, cheese. I ate my supper at the table, and then walked back and forth towards the fridge eating until I felt full. Introducing in-between healthy snacks (such as fruits or veggies) while in the office helped me balance out my meals throughout the day. So I’m not feeling hungry anymore and are eating the needed amount of calories for my body and activity level.

Reason #3: Scale is showing weight gain

Stepping on the scale to check your weight and see weight gain might freak you out and make you think that you’ll become fat again. However, this is not so simple. Read on.

a.) In case weighting yourself occasionally

How to deal with fear of getting fat again while being fitStepping on the scale occasionally is fine because it can help you keep yourself on track. You’ll notice a major weight gain while it is happening and you’ll be able to interfere.

However, pay attention to the fact that muscle is heavier than fat. So maybe you are experiencing what I was: gaining muscle and losing fat meaning that the number on the scale goes up. However, if you look at yourself, you can clearly see that it’s not fat that you are gaining, it’s muscle. So if you suddenly have visible biceps without flexing or bubble booty, then the weight gain a sign of you gaining muscles!

b.) In case you are weighting yourself daily

Stop. Just stop weighting yourself every day. It’s not healthy to obsess over your weight. Instead focus on the weight of your dumbbells going up instead of focusing on the numbers of your scale going down. Remember, daily fluctuations in weight don’t mean a thing. So you might as well stop obsessing over the numbers on that scale.


Reason #4: None of the above

If your reason of being afraid of becoming fat again is none of the reasons addressed above, then it means that you have some issues you need to deal with.

Losing weight is not easy. Keeping it off in the long run is harder. It needs discipline and developing healthy habits. After becoming fit you will certainly go through a phase where you are afraid of becoming fat again, and it is okay. You can use this fear to motivate you, to fuel your workout or healthy habits. However, you must pay close attention to that fear of getting fat again, because it can lead you down the dark path of obsession over your weight.

Interested in more tips on living a healthy life? Click here for my weekly updates>>>

How not to deal with fit shaming people after losing weight

How not to deal with fit shaming people after losing weight

“Stop losing weight, you are too thin!” is the sentence I keep hearing day after day from friends, co-workers and acquaintances I meet. Let me share with you 5 different situations I have to face fit shaming during a regular week and the lessons I’ve learned during those encounters with the good intention bullies.

Fit shaming situations and lessons I’ve learned

Day #1:

How not to deal with fit shaming people after losing weight
More people in my office building would use the stairs if we had one of these escalators.

It is a beautiful Monday morning and I am heading towards my office while taking the stairs (like always since I’ve changed my lifestyle to a healthy one). The only one taking the stairs this morning (and on other mornings) with me is one girl who works on the 1st floor and recently got into heavy cardio workout 3 times per week. While we chitchat about it’s being Monday already, I suddenly hear her say the dreaded sentence:

“Stop losing weight, you are too thin!”

Instead of ignoring it this time while thinking how Mondays hate me too I reply with a brand new well-prepared answer for these situations I haven’t tried saying and failing before:

“I am 58kg/128lbs! I don’t believe that’s thin for my height (163cm/5 ft 4 in)!”

Her reply:

“Well, it is too thin!”

Lesson #1:

I can’t win with these people.


Day #2:

Stressful day at the office, being busy. Suddenly an ex co-worker drops by to say hi. She recognizes that this is not a good time for chitchat, so she cuts it short. She is already at the door, almost opening it, when casually instead of “Goodbye”she drops the bomb:

“Don’t lose more weight, you’ll disappear!”

How not to deal with fit shaming people after losing weight
This is how I imagined a stressful day at the office when I didn’t work in an office.

It is not her first time bringing this to my attention, I see her a few times a month, so it’s not like she hasn’t seen me fit. But today is the day that I choose to reply to her comment.

“I am not thin, look at all my muscles! I am 58kg/128lbs!”

She turns back, approaches me and tells me that 58kg/128lbs is almost nothing. So to prove my point of me being in a normal weight range for my height, I ask her how much does she weight.

She tells me: “You are not a woman if you are under 60kg! I weight 63kg!” and she leaves in a hurry, leaving me standing there and calculating in my head her BMI. She is way taller than I am (175cm) so if she weights 63kg it makes her BMI 20,6 which is lower than my BMI of 21,8. Yet, it’s still me, who is being bullied into not being a real woman because of her low weight.

Lesson #2:

I am being bullied about my weight by other women now that I am fit. While being obese, none of the women around me asked, mentioned or made rude remarks about my weight.


Day #3:

Running errands on a usual weekday when I bump into an old friend of mine. After a few sentences on how our lives are currently, she leans closer, lowers her voice and asks:

“What do you do to look thin like this?”

It’s like she’s expecting me to give her a well guarded secret that I somehow came across during my weight loss journey. I lean closer to her and say in a calm voice how I changed my nutrition, I eat healthy, I eat less, I regularly exercise.

“Oh, I see. I can’t do that. I don’t have time to workout. / I like cake too much. (*insert here a long list of personal excuses*)”

Lesson #3:

People say that they want to know my secret of how I’ve lost weight and became fit, when in reality they just want to hear that there is an easy way for them to do it that they haven’t heard of yet. The moment they figure out that it is discipline and hard work, they become uninterested.


Day #4:

Leaving my office for a lunch break when I meet a co-worker on the stairs going in the opposite direction. We say hi, I compliment her looks and she notices that we have matching pants! She complains about the pants getting too baggy after only two wears and I say that mine are fine. Then she looks at me from head to toe and says:

“Oh my god, look at you! You are so thin! I am not talking to you anymore!” says jokingly and leaves me there standing alone on the stairs.

Lesson #4:

If there is a grain of truth in every joke, I wonder if some women really stopped talking to me and started avoiding me out of envy after I’ve lost weight and became fit.


Day #5:

How not to deal with fit shaming people after losing weightAt the office again, having a coffee break (or in my case: green tea break) with my female co-workers. One of them says:

“Oh you are so thin! I can see on your face that you’ve lost weight!”

Today I’m trying out a new reply strategy, so I say:

“Thank you, I get that a lot! In fact, I get called thin every day!”

Suddenly one of my other co-workers, who is trying to lose weight herself by occasionally going on strict diets turns to me and says:

“Really? I bet your family thinks that you are too thin.” she adds.

“No, it’s not my family, they accepted the new fit me. Women around me point out every day how thin I am.”

Lesson #5:

People have no idea that fit shaming even exists. Even the woman who fit shame me are not aware of the fact that they are acting like a bully. They would never call their obese co-worker fat or obese, yet they are without a second thought calling me thin.

Interested in more tips on living a healthy life? Click here for my weekly updates>>>

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training?

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training?

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training?You've seen woman in the weight training section of the gym lift heavy. They look strong, confident, awesome. I've also seen muscular woman in the weight training part of the gym giving away strong masculine vibes. So it made me wonder: what is it about weight training that makes some woman more feminine and shine with confidence while turning other woman into a masculine man figure with a strong toned body?

Is it the heavy weights that make woman bulky when weight training?

I’ve seen girls in the gym who avoid the weight training section and use only light weights because they are afraid of becoming too bulky. And I’ve seen girls in the gym who occupy the squat rack when weight training and are not afraid to lift heavy. In fact, they enjoy weight training. They know that weight training as a woman won’t give you a manly body, just good looking toned muscles.

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training?There’s that great myth about weight training that weight training as a woman will make you appear bulky and manly. Click here to read more about this myth>>>

Testosterone is what makes a body look bulky. It is a male hormone. For woman,  weight training helps add bone density, which prevents osteoporosis. Weight training also improves muscle mass, which is good for the overall fitness level.

So it’s definitely not the weight training and heavy weights that you lift regularly that turn you into a manly woman with bulky muscles and a manly walk.

However, I’ve also seen girls at the gym who have an awesome and toned muscular body, and give away manly vibes.

What is it that makes weight training woman looking and acting manly?

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training?
Don’t let the short hair fool you: this is a woman acting manly.

Lifting heavy certainly does not make weight training woman look and act manly.

Weight training just tones your body making it visually more pleasing. Defined muscles will only show when you flex them. It is a common misconception that weight training makes women look big and bulky.

But how can you avoid turning into a manly beast as a woman while weight training?

In order to look like big men with bulky muscles, a woman would need to produce testosterone, eat the right things and take the necessary supplements. So it is a hard work to look like The Rock, it won’t happen if you don’t make an effort. Besides, women’s bodies does not produce testosterone required to get bulky, so you won’t have to be afraid that you’ll get big by doing weight training.

However, going to the gym regularly and spending your free time among sweaty men smelling all that testosterone around you and looking at them walk might make you unconsciously mimic their behavior.

5 tips on what to do if you feel like you’ve lost your femininity while weight training

Here are some tips if you don’t want to walk and act manly after spending too much time at the gym weight training:

#1. Engage in creative leisure activities

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training?Sometimes weight training can become boring, no matter how challenging it is for your body. If you feel like your missing creativity in your life, do something about it. Reach to your inner creativity: write a poem, hand made your jewellery, paint a silk scarf or a painting. Any activity that uses your creativity will instantly make you feel more girly.

# 2. Yoga

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training?Doing yoga will not only benefit your health, increase your flexibility, make you sleep better, fix your posture, tone your muscles, affect your weight loss (and I could go on for ages), but it is also a good for stretching your new built muscles. I noticed that when I combine yoga and weight training, my muscles are less stiff. Adding yoga to your weight training helps you get better shaped muscles. The gentleness of yoga awakens your inner woman.

# 3. Dance

Take a zumba class, a belly dance class, or just dance in your bedroom! Dancing will make you more aware of your movements, you’ll feel the flow in the music, and you’ll be able to connect to it. Move your hips with ease and grace! This will make you feel feminine in an instant!

#4. Spend time with other women

How to avoid turning into a masculine beast when weight training?Spending all that time at the gym surrounded by sweaty men and muscles can make a woman start acting like a man herself. If you are living in a man’s world, you have to become a man yourself. You need a balance: start spending time with other woman. Invite your girlfriends over, or go out for a coffee. Discuss girly topics, share your feelings, ask for advice. Your soul needs other woman in your life.

#5. Read a book

Make it a romantic book, poems, or a book about woman specific topics – anything that interest you and talks to your soul. There is nothing more pleasant to your woman than being immersed in a good book!

Interested in more tips on living a healthy life? Click here for my weekly updates>>>

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit body

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit body

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit bodyAfter significant weight loss, friends, coworkers and acquaintances will start noticing your new found body. They will feel like it is time for them to compliment you on your new fit body. How can you accept these compliments without being rude or seeming awkward?

People around me noticed my weight loss and positive changes about my body way sooner than I have. It was annoying for a while to address their compliments and answer their questions about my fit body, and I hated it. But looking back I see now that their comments and questions helped me a lot with my mental barriers of accepting my new fit body.

Why people compliment on your weight loss success

I bet you want to know why someone is giving you a compliment on your weight loss. If you think that the person who complimented on your looks wants something from you, you will less likely believe the compliment. All this can make you interpret the compliment in a totally different way than it was intended.

Getting fit and losing weight affects not just your looks and attitude but also the perception of how others see you. There will be a change in people’s attitudes towards the new fit you.

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit body
“Sir, I noticed your large beer belly has vanished! You look awesome!”
Smiles: “Thank you sir for noticing my fat crying.”

Part of their changed view comes from the fact that your looks have changed, and that change in your body becomes noticeable at a first glance to others. The other reason for from the fact that it’s not just your body that changed, but your attitude as well. Your improved self confidence you’ve gained with regular workout shines through.

These are just some of the reasons why you are drawing wanted (or unwanted) attention of your friends and acquaintances. You may find this to be pleasing, and it can even give you a temporary boost in motivation to workout harder. On the other hand, if you are like me, you will find all this sudden rush of attention unwelcome and have mixed feelings about people who unexpectedly shower you with compliments, and struggle with finding the best way to deal with all that sincere or false openness.

Some people will be thrilled about your success, because you’ve accomplished what they are just hoping to achieve one day. As may it be fascinating for you at first to hear the compliments, you will grow tired of them soon after. Especially when you realize that what they say is actually a reflection of their own biases, self-doubt and flaws.

How you are currently dealing with compliments about your weight loss

Until now, you’ve dealt with compliments about your successful weight loss in one of the 3 possible ways:

  1. Rejecting the compliment
  2. Deflecting the compliment
  3. Accepting the compliment

How you are dealing with a compliment about your successful weight loss tells about you a lot.

The way you deal with compliments reflects your level of self-esteem and self-worth. [Tweet this!]

If compliments on your successful weight loss make you feel uncomfortable, it is because the compliments contradicts your own self-view.

1. Rejecting a compliment

“- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

“- No, I don’t look great.”

When it comes to compliments about your looks, an inner fat girl makes you deny that the flattery could be true.

If you have high self-esteem then you will reject the compliment because you want to be perceived as modest.

Just imagine how it feels for the other person when he or she says something nice with his or her best intentions, and you reject it. This is the worst you can do. You undermine the compliment or insult the compliment giver by rejecting a compliment about your weight loss.

2. Deflecting the compliment

There are 3 ways to deflect a compliment about your successful weight loss:

  • Self-insult:

    “- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

    “- No, I did not lose a lot of weight. My lose clothing makes me look like I’ve lost a lot of weight, but trust me, I am still fat under it.”

  • Denial:

    “- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

    “- No, I don’t. Look, I have batwings under my arms.”

  • Boomerang:

    “- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

    “- You look amazing too! Is that a new necklace you’re wearing?”

Why you are feeling awkward when accepting a compliment about your fit body
“I love your t-shirt!”
“Umm…look at this pebble.”

The problem with deflecting a compliment abut your successful weight loss is that you give the impression that you don’t respect the opinion of the person who gave you the compliment. You should return the compliment, but not right away. Say something nice about the person who gave you the compliment about your successful weight loss the next time you two meet.

3. Accepting the compliment

Your best bet is to just accept the compliment about your successful weight loss that has been given you.

“- Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! You look great!”

“- Thanks, that’s very kind of you!”

If you want to follow it up with an explanation of how you’ve worked hard for looking like this, feel free.

Actually, accepting a compliment about your successful weight loss is a compliment for itself. By accepting the compliment someone gave you, you are suggesting them that you trust their judgement, wisdom and opinion, and you appreciate what they have to say.

Lesson on how to accept a compliment about weight loss

Even if you don’t agree with a compliment, you should take it gracefully. Respect the compliment giver by accepting the compliment. Say this if you are accepting a compliment on your successful weight loss if you don’t agree with what the other person said about you:

  • “Thank you”, “Thank you very much”
  • “Thanks, I appreciate that.”
  • “Thanks, that’s a lovely thing to say.”
  • “Thanks, that makes me feel good.”
  • “Thanks, that means a lot to me.”
  • “Thanks, you’re very kind.”

If you agree with a compliment given to you about your successful weight loss, accept the compliment by saying the following things:

  • “Thanks. I’m really glad you noticed that I’ve lost significant weight because it’s something I’m proud of too.”
  • “Thanks! I trained really hard.”

Don’t be focused on the content of the compliment when receiving one, but rather focus on receiving the compliment. And don’t forget to smile!

Want more tips on living a healthy life? Click here for my weekly updates>>>

Rude remarks you'll get after you become fit that you never got while fat

Rude remarks you’ll get after you become fit that you never got while fat

Rude remarks you'll get after you become fit that you never got while fatDo you get lifestyle advice based on personal opinion from people now that you are fit? Are those actually rude remarks about you being fit or advice that you would never hear if you were still fat? Learn how to respond to the rude things people tell you after you become fit that they would never tell the fat you!

Here are the most common advice people give after you become fit that they would never tell you while you were fat:

Rude remark #1: “You looked better fat…”

Do they believe that I will suddenly realize that I am way too fit (there’s no such thing) and I start shoveling in cupcakes after cupcakes until I become fatter than they are? Yes, they secretly hope so that I will. This would make them comfortable with the fact that they are overweight themselves. Let’s admit it: who wants to be reminded that their unhealthy weight surplus is something they could also work on?

People who say this believe that they are being honest and open with you. However, they would never ever say anything about you being too chubby while you were obese, because they consider it rude.

So how the heck is it acceptable in their head to comment your weight when you are fit and unacceptable to comment on your weight back when you were fat???

Obesity is okay because you can’t do anything about it, and being fit is not okay because you worked your ass and fat off for looking like this. [Tweet this!]

What they don’t know is that having a huge body is also a lot of work: you need to eat a lot of food for a lot of days to gain so much weight that will put you in the obese spectrum.

Rude remarks you'll get after you become fit that you never got while fat
“Julie, I swear you looked better while you had those excess 50 pounds!”

The hardest people are the ones who were once fit with little or no effort at all, but with aging they started to gain weight. Now they are on the edge of overweight/obese. They feel the worst when they see you, the girl formerly known as fat rocking those skinny pants and tank top. Well, heck, life is being unfair to them! You should not be looking like a 10 (see the “genetically gifted” Angels for reference) since you are now also over 30 years old. You should have more excess belly fat and a hundred of excuses of why you are not being able to lose weight and keep it off! The universe is just playing a trick on them by magically turning their forever fat friend into a Victoria’s Secret model. So they better fix this injustice by convincing you to stop. Just turn back into your normal old crappy fat self like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight. So they can go back to their everyday lives of no exercise and stop thinking about that belly fat of theirs being unhealthy.

Or you might have heard the “mild” version of it, the:

“You looked cuter when you were chubby”.

There is something seriously wrong in the head with these people if they believe that commenting on you being way too fit is appropriate, but commenting on someone’s weight if they are fat is just rude.

Choose your reaction to the rude comment wisely (depending on mood or your level of willingness to stay friends):

Response #1: If you know that you are in a healthy weight and body range, then you might as well just ignore them.

Response #2: Politely ask for their opinion of why they think that you looked better fat instead of fit. You’ll be surprised at their reaction.

Response #3: If you are really pissed off, turn into your rude Hulk self and in your most polite voice tell them:

“Well, you looked better fit/single/before having kids.”

So let’s see another good advice people will give you after you become fit that you never got while being fat.

Rude remark #2: “You got sick because you’re working out too much!”

Just screw you (excuse my language). I got sick because I’ve caught a virus from your child which he bought home from kindergarten and you’ve spread it at the office.

You injured your knee? Yeah, you should not work out that much. All that weight lifting is bad for your knees, you know. I will give you work advice I’ve heard from other fat people who occasionally visit the gym and come up with excuses why they should not make it a habit. Going to the gym 3 times a week and doing zumba as cardio is bad for you in the long run. I told you so it’s going to end badly.

Rude remarks you'll get after you become fit that you never got while fat
“So we can agree to ignore Jim here because he’ll certainly break his leg from all that rock climbing he’s been doing and miss the presentation of our project.”

These are the people who know that they should work out, and they see you do it. They are feeling bad because they don’t do it. So when an opportunity presents itself when they can blame your active, healthy lifestyle for some of the accidents or unexpected things that happen to you, they jump in. But you don’t hear them blaming fat people’s injuries and sickness for the lack of workout they are getting.

Your reaction to these comments could be that you just mention:

Response #1: “Remember that yesterday you had a headache after eating all that leftover birthday cake right after your pizza breakfast? All those carbs gave you Hyperglycemia, that’s why you’ve felt so lethargic lately.”

Response #2:  “You know how you get exhausted when the elevator is out of order and you have to use the stairs to reach the 2nd floor? That’s because you don’t work out at all.”

Did you notice that:

  • it’s always the unfit people commenting on your fit body, never the fit ones, because
  • fit people know how much effort it takes to look fit, so they appreciate the amount of work you’ve put into it and your commitment.

Don’t get discouraged by rude comments from people who are overweight themselves or not leading a healthy lifestyle. It’s their own insecurities they are projecting onto you.

Are you also pissed off because of all the rude remarks about you being fit? Share your story in the comments section below or follow my stories by subscribing to my newsletter. Click here>>>

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra size

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra size

You've lost weight? Good for you! The weight came off from your breasts too? You are freaking out about your new small breasts? Fear no more! These tips will help you deal with your new bra size.

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra sizeThere is no such thing as spot reducing. So by losing weight the fat comes off from every part of your body: your breasts as well. Whether you like it or not, if you lose weight your breasts will become smaller. However, breasts becoming smaller is no reason for you to give up on your aspiration of losing weight in order to hit the healthy weight range. Let’s address this secretly feared issue of losing weight from breasts and having small breasts.

Does the size of breasts matter?

So my lovely ladies, does size matter? We say that size does not matter. However, when it is the size of our breasts, suddenly size is an issue.

“Oh, I wish my breasts would be bigger!”

“Why do I have such huge breasts?”

“I wish the shape of my breasts would be different…”

“I can accept that the shape of my breasts is not perfect, but can’t just the two be similar?”

Can you spot the common theme here? Whatever your complaint may be regarding your breasts, one thing is sure: you are not satisfied with the breasts you have and you want different breasts.

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra sizeMany ladies struggle with because they can’t see their breasts as pretty. They struggle with accepting their breasts because the breasts they have don’t reflect the actual breast trends. These trends in breast shape and size change in time: just remember the ’60s rocket-shaped breasts or that in the ’70s breasts were allowed to sag. In the ’80s breasts supposed to be round and firm like grapefruits. Then came the ’90s when smaller, athletic breasts became trendy.

One thing we can conclude from all these breast trends is that there is no such thing as the perfect breasts. There are trendy breasts and then there are your actual breasts.

Your expectation of what breasts should look like comes from society’s current standards. So how could you be satisfied with the breasts you have when the media is constantly bombarding you with unrealistic breast shapes and sizes?

The only thing about your breasts that matters is how you experience your own breasts. [Tweet this!]

6 questions you need to answer to help you to deal with small breasts after weight loss

Take a few minutes to answer these 6 question about your breasts for yourself:

1. Describe your breasts: size, shape, sensitivity, other properties. What is your relationship with your breasts?

2. What are your nipples like in terms of size, color, shape? Is there anything you’d notice about them? Flat or inverted nipples, extra nipple or hair around nipples?

3. How does your significant other treat your breasts during sex? What do you think how men feel about female breasts? Are those feelings a biological reaction or are they influenced by media?

4. Do you feel different emotionally or physically if you wear a bra or if you go bra less? How does it make you feel?

5. Do you wear clothes that accentuate your breasts or clothes that hide your breast? Why?

6. What words are you using when talking about your breasts or describing them? How do you feel about other words that are describing breasts?

By answering these questions you’ve addressed the emotional issues arising regarding your small breasts after weight loss. But it wouldn’t be me, if I didn’t give you real hands-on advice on what to do with your small breasts. So let’s see, what can you do about your new bra size?

3 tips on small breasts after weight loss

Tip #1: Wearing a proper supporting bra for exercise is a must

Even if your breasts became smaller by losing weight, and you feel like you don’t need to wear a bra, you must wear a proper bra for breast support while engaging in any type of exercise.

The more vigorous the exercise is the more support your breasts will need. During active exercise, your breasts move up and down, side to side and front to back.

No matter how muscular you are, the underlying chest muscles don’t support breast tissue. In order to support the breast tissue you need to wear a proper sports bra while exercising. Different breasts need different kind of support for exercise: more compression, more cupping or the combination of these.

Tip #2: A well fitting bra will be your small breasts’ new best friend

Small breasts after weight loss? Your guide on how to deal with new bra sizeBad news for women with small breasts: breast tissue is made up of fatty tissue so as you lose fat your breast size decreases further.

If you are like me, losing weight will make you go out on a shopping spree to get new, smaller clothes, and you will forget about buying a new, smaller bra for your smaller breasts. However, a properly fitting bra is essential: you will instantly look more attractive in all your clothes! Even if you are not at your ideal weight yet, the fastest way to weight loss is to find a bra that fits, because wearing the wrong size or style bra makes you look fatter.

For determining your new bra size you could go to a department store or a lingerie shop to get fitted by a professional bra-fit specialist. Or you can do what I did, and measure yourself at home and then calculate your bra size using an online sizing guide.

Tip #3: Experiment with going braless

If you are used to wearing your bra all the time, now after losing weight and some fatty breast tissue is the time for you to start experimenting. See what happens if you go braless! The world won’t end, trust me.

Celebrate the feminine side of life by going braless today!

Want more guides on how to deal with after weight loss issues? Click here for my weekly updates>>>

Does weight lifting make you feel less feminine and sexy?

Does weight lifting make you feel less feminine and sexy?

Does weight lifting make you feel less feminine and sexy?We've all heard the misconception that weight lifting will make a woman big, bulky, and she will lose her feminine side. I've addressed these misconceptions earlier, so we've established that weight lifting won't make you accidentally look like The Rock. But what can you do when becoming physically stronger than most of the guys around you makes you feel less feminine and sexy?

Is it possible to stay feminine and sexy as a woman on the inside while weight lifting?

Yes, it is possible to stay feminine and sexy as a woman while weight lifting. But the real question is how? Spending time in the weigh lifting section of the gym among guys 3 times a week can influence not just your weight lifting abilities and body, but your perception of yourself as well.

Does weight lifting make you feel less feminine and sexy?Imagine yourself after few months of weight lifting seeing a guy with big manly muscles use the same weight dumbbells as you. Pretty self confidence booster, isn’t it? Now fast forward a few months of regular weight lifting, and you’ll be watching more and more guys using smaller dumbbells than you are. After 9 months of weight lifting there will be only few regular guys at the gym using heavier weights for weight lifting than you.

This is exactly what happened to me, and at this point when I realized that I lift more than most of the guys at the gym, I panicked. Suddenly I started to feel less feminine and sexy because seeing myself stronger than most of the guys placed me in front of them on that invisible weight lifting hierarchy ladder in my head. I’ve became one of the guys. Then I remembered:

My strength does not come from lifting weights, my strength came from lifting myself up when I was knocked down. [Tweet this!]

So how can you stay feminine and sexy on the inside while weight lifting?

3 tips to make you feel more feminine and sexy while weight lifting

Use these 3 tips to make you feel more feminine and sexy inside and outside of the gym while you regularly do your weight lifting routine.

Tip #1: Spend time with other women

 Spending time in a gym weight lifting where most of the members are guys you are comparing yourself to and competing with is exhausting. All that manly energy and testosterone surrounding you while weight lifting may result in you ending up feeling less feminine and sexy.

What you need to do is get yourself among a group of women. By spending time with woman will make you unconsciously observe their feminine body language and movements, and after a few hours you will start to imitate them. Spending time with women will turn on your feminine side that you’ve put aside for weight lifting.

Tip #2: Be graceful

Does weight lifting make you feel less feminine and sexy?When out of the weight lifting room, make smooth movements instead of powerful ones!

You can teach yourself to be graceful and more feminine. Watch your posture: tighten your abs, move your shoulders down and back, away from your ears and raise your chin to be parallel to the floor.

To walk gracefully in heels or in any other type of shoes, do the following: take small steps, walk heel to toe not toe to heel. Don’t rush, lean slightly back while walking and visualize yourself walking in a straight line.

Tip #3: Dance

Dance classes are great for improving your feminine posture and teach you graceful movements. Just be sure to choose a dance class that requires you to learn sexy, feminine moves! It doesn’t have to be modern ballet, I suggest belly dancing, or my favorite, Zumba! After you learn the steps, you will be able to pay attention to your body movements in order for them to become calculated and fluid.

Get more useful tips on how to motivate yourself towards a more balanced lifestyle! Click here>>>