Not being able to see your fit body image after weight loss and still seeing the fat body or as we are starting to refer it as “phantom fat” is not anorexia.
[Image courtesy of marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net]
Anorexia is basically an eating disorder while being obsessed with having a thin body, and an irrational fear of gaining weight. The person who has anorexia has a distorted body image of themselves.
After significant weight loss there is this condition referred to as phantom fat. Phantom fat is when a person after a significant weight loss is unable to see their new fit body. All they see is their old fat body image, and not the new fit body staring back at them from the mirror. Although phantom fat is not an acknowledged mental condition, it is clearly a temporary mental disorder that needs to get more attention.
Phantom fat or not being able to see your fit body after weight loss is a temporary mental disorder that needs to be addressed. [Tweet this!]
Anorexia is usually coupled with a distorted body image that changes how the person perceives and thinks about their own body. A person with anorexia sees themselves as overweight when in reality they are being underweight.
Being unable to see your fit body after significant weight loss is also due to a distorted body image that a person has of their body after weight loss. However, a person with phantom fat see himself or herself as overweight when in reality they are being in the normal weight range. Or in case we are talking about weight loss while being obese, phantom fat will result still seeing oneself as obese when in reality one will be overweight.
It comes as no surprise that phantom fat is not considered yet a mental disorder, while anorexia is accepted as a serious illness. Think about this: we haven’t really accepted the fact that carrying around excess weight to the point of being obese and overweight are not just usual conditions but serious health issues that need to be addressed.
How can you tell if you have anorexia or you are experiencing phantom fat after weight loss?
Here is a quick comparison on how to tell anorexia and phantom fat apart:
Characteristics of anorexia vs phantom fat
Anorexia
Phantom phat
Eating disorder
Temporary mental disorder
Distorted body image
Distorted body image
Obsessed with having a thin body
Obsessed with having a fit body
See own body as overweight when in reality body is underweight
See own body as overweight when in reality body is normal weight
If you think that you or someone you know has anorexia, don’t be afraid to talk to someone about it. Get help, because anorexia is a serious condition that needs to be addressed as soon as possible.
Don’t confuse seeing yourself fat while being fit for having anorexia. Please, educate people around you that looking fit now while being overweight for a long period of time before that does not mean that you have anorexia. Struggling with accepting your new fit body image after significant weight loss is not what having anorexia is like.
Do you think that you are experiencing phantom fat after significant weight loss? Click here to find out in a few easy steps if you are suffering from phantom fat >>>
Becoming fit has left me with lots of big clothes that were filling up my wardrobe space. In the fall of 2014, I decided that it was time for purging my old wardrobe. I wanted to create my fall 2014 wardrobe that I will love and that will be functional to fulfill my wardrobe needs. After getting rid of clothes either by putting them in bags and taking them out of my wardrobe to storage or donating them, and repeating this for 2 or 3 times, I was still left with lots of fall clothes in my wardrobe that were taking up the space in my wardrobe but I did not wear them for some reason.
Yet when I needed to dress up for a night out, for a serious business meeting at work, or just for walking my dog, I felt like I have nothing to wear. It was time to change all that.
How to start creating your fall 2014 wardrobe
Luckily I came across a minimalist fashion blog that had a simple and usable guide on how to build yourself a capsule wardrobe. It took me a whole weekend to identify my clothing needs that fit my weekly activities and to purge all the unnecessary clothes from my wardrobe. It took me weeks to get the missing items for my wardrobe I have identified that I needed in my closet but I did not own or were too big or worn out to keep on wearing.
Five steps of creating your fall 2014 wardrobe:
How to create your fall 2014 wardrobe
Get a look of my fall 2014 wardrobe
For the first time in my life I managed to clean out my closet and build a fall 2014 wardrobe for myself that I am happy with. My fall 2014 wardrobe consists only of clothes that I absolutely love to wear and I feel good in. It has 37 pieces of clothing, that fit into my wardrobe perfectly.
What to look out for while creating your fall 2014 wardrobe if you are still losing fat?
I am a girl who is into fashion – and by being into fashion I mean that I am following a lot of fashion blogs and watching the celebrities on red carpet and their everyday street styles. When I was overweight, I was looking at stylish pictures of girls wishing I could pull off their outfits with my fat body without looking like a beach ball. So naturally I thought that if I ever lose weight, I will be as stylish and beautiful as the models and fashion bloggers are. Well, turns out that losing weight and changing your body from fat to fit does not make you a stylish fashion icon.
During my weight loss journey my clothes on me looked crappy: being unaware of the fact that my body changed and was becoming more and more fit instead of fat, I was still wearing my old fat clothes. My wardrobe was full of clothes (even my casual business office outfits) hanging lose and folding unflattering on me. For the first time in my life I regularly started using belts regularly for my pants that were being baggy. But the weigh loss continued and my clothes were becoming bigger and bigger, and my family was the first who started to point out that I needed a new wardrobe. I was happy that I can finally shop for new clothes, and wanted to get all the latest trends.
Continuing with becoming fitter and fitter my clothing size went smaller and smaller. I had to shop frequently, plus I enjoyed that I can buy clothes that are a smaller size. I ended up wearing clothes for 2-3 weeks before they’ve become too big. Tailoring my big clothes wasn’t an option for me, because I don’t have a tailor I trust and the few clothing items I took to a tailor to fix were a disaster and I ended up not wearing them. Plus, you should not force your new fit body into old fat clothes!
Trying on new clothes while out shopping will help you to see your new fit body if you are suffering from phantom fat and you don’t see your weight loss on your body in the mirror.
I learned that only stretchy clothes fit my changed body, so I started to shop smarter for my wardrobe, knowing that in 2 weeks my body will change.
My advice to you while being in the losing weight phase is to search for stretchy clothes – you’ll be able to get more wears out of them that way. [Tweet this!]
Benefits of having a fall 2014 wardrobe
My fall 2014 wardrobe has 37 pieces of clothing, that fit into my wardrobe perfectly. I have more space in my closet than ever before! I can see all of my clothes, which makes matching items and putting together outfits easy and fast – I can put on a perfectly polished outfit for office in the morning in less than 3 minutes!
I wash and iron clothes more frequently but it takes up less of my time. I don’t know how this is even possible, but washing and ironing takes less time than it used to.
Believe it or not, there are no drawbacks of having a 37 piece fall 2014 wardrobe, and I have no idea why I haven’t come up with a capsule wardrobe before. I thought it is much work and fuss to put together a wardrobe and I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull it off. It took a bit of planning, a lot of thinking, but it made me more aware of my lifestyle and habits.
Building a fall 2014 wardrobe was not only a cleaning of my wardrobe and my old fat clothes, but unintentionally it was also a big cleaning of my thoughts and I got rid not only of my old big clothes, but of my old fat self body image as well.
It is ironic that my family are the people who see me the most often, yet they fight the biggest struggle accepting my fit body after losing weight.
“Jimmy is all skin and bones! Let’s bury him like a skeleton!”
I believe I’ve made progress in accepting my new fit body after significantly losing weight. It was a big realization moment when a friend of mine spoke to me about her struggling to accept my new fit body. It was that moment that I’ve realized that I am not the only one struggling to accept my fit body: people around me, friends, family, also fight their own struggles with accepting my new found fit body!
Never have I had an encounter with my overweight father and mother where they wouldn’t bring up in a casual conversation their worries about me losing weight and having a fit body – or as they refer to it now SKIN AND BONES.
How family sees Your new fit body after losing weight
At the beginning of my journey to losing weight right when the results of the healthy diet and regular exercises started to show, every time I visited my mother, she would ask me if I eat at all. This continued even after I’ve explained to her that I am overweight and I am working out to lose weight to reach the normal weight range on the BMI (Body Mass Index) scale for my height. Every time we’ve met, I had to explain again and again that I am eating, but choosing to eat healthy foods, exercising 3-5 times per week, so she is seeing the results of my healthy lifestyle changing my body. But she could not and still cannot accept that being fit and not overweight is healthy. I believe that this is partly due to the fact that I have been either obese or overweight the most part of my life, and seeing me in a healthy weight range is new, unconventional for my mother. The other explanation that is more deeper seeded reason for my family being unable to accept my new fit body image stems from their outdated views of a healthy body: they were raised in a world where poor people were skinny because they couldn’t afford enough food for themselves and their families. Being overweight meant being well-fed, and wealthier than the average. So my parents don’t see that with consumerism and the wide acceptance and availability of processed foods the standards have shifted. And being obese comes from consuming unhealthy and available processed foods whereas being fit (or as they know it “skinny”) means that you pay attention to what you are eating and can afford the more expensive but healthier foods.
I have tried to explain this to my family many times – but their views of the world are so deep seated that they can’t accept the fact that:
Being fit/skinny does not equal being unhealthy/poor.[Tweet this!]
How to deal with family members who can’t accept Your body after losing weight
One of my cousins have also had a hard time accepting my new fit body. After I opened up to her about my body image issues after losing weight she admitted that she also had issues accepting the new me(!) and my new found fit body! She truly believed that me with a fit body wasn’t being myself and that there were times when she secretly wished I’d become fat again! But when I accepted myself and my new found fit body, she accepted it too! She was thinking that finally her old friend is back!
“We are here because Your mother asked us to convince you to stop making healthy lifestyle choices.”
Not being in tune with your body and mind is noticeable by other around you. Maybe they can’t put their finger on it, just like you couldn’t, but they sense the disruption in your “force”.
Your best bet when dealing with family members who can’t accept your new fit body after losing weight is to talk openly to them about the body acceptance issues you are facing. This will make them realize that they are also struggling with accepting your new fit body. Who knows, you could even find out interesting new things about your family members that you weren’t aware before, if you start talking openly and listening to what they are saying.
You feel like you are still struggling with accepting your new found fit body? Find help clicking here >>>
I am one of those woman who never talks with her friends about the struggles she is facing when they are happening, but shares the success story of the struggle after she overcame the difficulties. So it is only recently that I have started talking about my struggles regarding my fat body image I have in my head while not being able to see a fit body image reflection staring back at me from the mirror. I have discussed the problem of not being able to see the fit body in the mirror after significant weight loss in the past.
Fat body image issues are almost part of the past, and I can now finally see my actual fit body image reflection in the mirror. The fat body image I had hold on to for so long finally seems to be disappearing. I am able to see my actual fit body image in the mirror instead of a fat body mirror image. Furthermore, I am finally starting to believe that the fit body image in the mirror is the real me! The fat body mind set and fat body image has started to float away. I am just starting to fully enjoy the fit body I worked so hard for.
It is still difficult to talk about the emotional experience of thinking and believing that I am going crazy because everyone around me says and sees me as fit, but I don’t see my body the way they see it, because only in my head I am still a woman in a fat body.
The truth is that seeing the real fit body image vs. seeing the perceived fat body image is a constant everyday battle. My body is getting fitter and fitter, but my mind does not see this. It is like my head is behind my body in time, it will take me a few months to accept the body image in my head that I currently have. In my mind I am fit, but not as fit as in reality. But it is a progress, and eventually the fat body image will be replaced by a fit body image.
It is still puzzling for me how serious conditions with body image problems such as anorexia and other negative body image issues are taken seriously, and you can get counseling. However, body image issues that come with significant weight loss do not get the proper attention they should have. In order to help myself with having a fat body image while actually being in a fit body, I had to browse through self help books written for low self esteem and serious negative body image issues, and select some tips that I thought would fit in my case as well. I tried a lot of the advices that I have came across about body image issues, and what worked for me was a quick 10 minute exercise that I did daily for a few weeks. Click here to find out about Exercise A and Exercise B >>>
When I started my weight loss journey never would I have guessed that the hardest part of becoming fit would be accepting mentally my newly sculpted body and its body image! Get 3 great tips and 2 easy exercises that will help you accept your new fit body and overcome the mental obstacle of that fat body image in your head.
I struggled with not seeing the weight loss change my body image in the mirror. I saw the numbers on the scale getting lower and lower, my pants being too big, but I just could not see this change affecting the body image in the mirror. In my mind I was still a fat girl instead of a fit one, no matter what friends and family said about me having a fit body.
Then as the weight loss continued, the feeling of my mind being out of sync with my body image grew stronger and stronger. I felt like an alien in my new fit body, and it was unbearable.
I even considered getting psychiatric help for my body image issues, because it was driving me crazy to live in a body that is considered fit and smaller in size than what I was always used to having – being obese and overweight my whole life. I even thought of stopping the exercises and start eating more, just to get back to my old, big body image size.
Luckily for me, my basic motivation for losing weight was to start and maintain a healthy lifestyle, and not mainly to get a good looking fit body.
Moving back to obese-city is not an option I could see myself being satisfied with again. [Tweet this!]
So I started to search online for help with my body image issues, but could not find anything that would directly help me. People would mention in their weight loss success stories that they still can’t see themselves as thin, or that they are not used to their body image, but that was it. No mentions on how to address this issue of fat body image existing only in your head.
3 tips to help You see Your fit body image after weight loss
Therapists and medical doctors didn’t take me seriously and said that this body image problem will solve itself, and that the fat body image goes away after a while. I tried many things to speed this process up, and here is a list of 3 things that will help you accept your new fit body:
1. Boost low self confidence
Body image issues arise from the fact that your brain has not accepted the image of your new fit body. During your weigh loss you were dissatisfied with your overweight body and fat body parts. This dissatisfaction leads to low self confidence, even when you’ve lost all that fat. So what you need to do is start boosting your self confidence in order to accept your new fit body image.
Here are tips on how to boost low self confidence after weight loss and accept your fit body image:
Put a photo of yourself on the fridge or another visible place where you think you look better than perfect and look at it often. This helps your mind connect to the fit body image that you see on the picture.
Take pictures of your body now after your weight loss & compare them to old pictures of yourself. This way the fake fat body image that you are holding on to in your mind and the real fit body image that you actually have now are being compared. It will help you see the changes that your mind did not see on your body before.
Get yourself a pair of skinny jeans or colored pants that make you keep thinking “Girl, you are hot!”. This will help your mind to start seeing how the weight loss changed the bottom part of your body.
Go window shopping! Pick something out that you would never have dared to wear while being overweight and try it on just for the fun of it! You will be surprised by how good your new fit body can look with the proper size of clothing!
2. Check for input from other people
People around me noticed my weight loss and positive changes about my body way sooner than I have. It was annoying for a while to address their compliments and answer their questions about my fit body, and I hated it. But looking back now I see that their comments and questions helped me a lot with my mental barriers of accepting my new fit body. Here is how you can ask friends or a significant other to help you with your body image problems:
Ask someone you absolutely trust what they think about your looks after the weight loss – you might not trust the image in the mirror, but if a friend or significant other points out that your body is actually fit and you are not fat anymore, it is way more likely to stick with you.
Ask a friend or your significant other to point out someone from a crowd of people who has a similar body size as you – trust me, it will surprise you! Seeing other people who are similar to you in size will not trigger an emotional response as seeing a picture of yourself would, therefore it’s helping you rationalize your new body size.
When receiving a positive comment on your new body image from other people, don’t ignore or dismiss – it’s bad manners and you come off as being rude. Don’t try to shy away from compliments about your looks: say thank you for the compliments! Chances are that the other person sees something positive regarding your body size and lower weight that you don’t see.
3. Quick 10 minute exercises for accepting your new body
You can try both Exercise A and Exercise B to see which one suits you best, and then continue with the one you are more comfortable with. Or you can switch them up, and one day do Exercise A and on other days Exercise B. The trick is to do them for at least a week, and soon you’ll be able to see your fit body image in the mirror, and not just the fat self.
Exercise A: Walk in the dark with closed eyes
You will need to rely on your other senses in order to navigate yourself. It connects the mental image that you have of your body with the real life body of yours. During this exercise you will need to work with the body you currently have, and not the image of the body that is imprinted in your subconscious. Do this for 10 minutes a day, and you will see improvements in sensing your whole body.
Exercise B: Backward walking
It works similar to the previous exercise, without closing your eyes. It is challenging to walk backwards because backward walking eliminates the typical heel-strike to the ground – the toe contacts the ground first. It is not just a simple physical activity, it requires brain activity as well. Plus it keeps you stay mentally sharp, puts your senses into overdrive, and it enhances vision as well. You’ll see all these benefits on your mental body image with a 10 minute walk a day for five weeks.
It was these last two exercises (Exercise A and Exercise B) that truly helped me accept my new fit body image.
Or try the advance Exercise C: walk along a thin rope backwards just before sunset while people are staring at you in awe
Looking at old pictures of myself helped too, but it made me overly emotional, so usually I was trying to avoid to look at my old obese and later overweight pictures of myself. Input of friends was useful in seeing the body I had in reality in my mind, because they pointed out things about my body that I hadn’t noticed. A friend I always considered beautiful and good looking with a fit body said to me: “Look at your tummy, it is flatter than mine!” This was a major game changer for me.
Need more help seeing your new fit body image in the mirror? Get more tips by clicking here >>>
Tell me you don’t want to look cute and stylish while you are working hard and breaking sweat during your workout! Of course you would like to look stylish and polished even when you are in beast mode at the gym!
Here are 7 easy and cheap ideas on how to achieve that stylish look at the gym without putting too much effort and time:
1. Color coordinate workout wear
The easiest to achieve that stylish polished look at the gym is to color coordinate your workout clothes. You can choose colored tops and gym bottoms. Brightly colored sports bras, leggings, capris and shorts are a real hit now at the gym! You can even choose patterned bottoms as your sportswear for the gym.
Or just match the color of your headphones and dumbbells as her [Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net]
However, most women like to play it safe and choose black bottoms. Choosing to wear black yoga pants to the gym is easy, simple, and it doesn’t require too much thinking because everything goes with black. I admit, I only own black workout pants too, because it is the only color that I can get away with having a sweaty booty at the gym and not looking like I peed myself during heavy workouts.
So what if you are not into wearing colored sports bottoms either, then what other options are there left to look more stylish at the gym?
2. Match top to gym shoe color
Luckily bright colored gym shoes are also highly popular. It provides you with the option to pair your black gym bottoms with a bright colored top that matches the color of your gym shoes. If you feel that you are bad at matching different colors together, but still want to achieve a stylish look, simply wear one color in your outfit and everything else should be a neutral color (black, white, gray, navy). Using one color will add a little pop to your workout wear, but won’t clash with other colors – thus making you stylish in no time!
3. Wear a colorful headband
A cheap solution to become instantly stylish at the gym is to get the color of a headband to match the color of your pants or gym shoes. Easy and it really makes you look stylish in no time! Just be sure to get stylish headbands designed for sports that have a no slip grip or that silicone grip that keeps stray locks and the band itself in place!
4. Wear colorful socks
Match the color of your socks to your top and/or headband!
[Image courtesy of holohololand at FreeDigitalPhotos.net]
Socks are an important part of your workout wear (unless you are doing barefoot yoga), because they provide the cushion between your skin and your shoe. Experts say that you should invest in gym sock with cushioning on the sole in the form of microfiber fabrics which are designed to wick away moisture from your skin. So choose some colored socks that match your other workout clothing and hit the gym in style!
5. Colored ponytail holder
Hair needs to get out of your way when you are exercising at the gym! If you have long hair, then getting a colored ponytail holders is an easy and cheap way to pump up your style! You can mix and match here freely. If your bra is visible under your t-shirt, use a ponytail holder that matches the color of your sports bra. Or use a ribbon that matches the color of your gym shoes.
If you are more experienced with matching different colors, then you can use multiple colored hair elastics to accent the colors represented in your sportswear. Feel free to play and become stylish easily!
Personal trick of mine: if you are into active sports like running, for a firmer ponytail use two hair ties on top of each other. They give you the grip and firmness needed.
6. Gym hairstyles
Those with long hair should try different braided hairstyles their next workout session at the gym. There are tons of do’s for active ladies on Pinterest with tutorials on how to achieve the gym hairstyle look. Great thing about braided hair is that you can do it in the morning before work, and it will last all day long! Plus you will look stylish at the gym too! Check out my Pinterest board for some hairstyle inspiration to become stylish at the gym!
The ultimate way to look cute and stylish during sweaty exercise routine at the gym is to wear funny workout or motivation prints on your t-shirt! Exercise your creativity by making yourself a custom shirt making a statement about your sweat at the gym:
This isn’t sweat – it’s liquid awesome!
Let your stylish t-shirt do the talking for you at the gym!
Getting fit and losing weight affects not just your looks and attitude but also the perception of how others around you see you. There will be a change in people’s attitudes towards the new, fit you.
Part of the changed view of you comes from the fact that your looks have changed, and that change in your body becomes noticeable at a first glance to others. This is why you are drawing the wanted or unwanted attention of your friends and acquaintances. You may find this to be pleasing, and it can even give you a temporary boost in motivation to workout harder. On the other hand, if you are like me, you will find all this sudden rush of attention unwelcome and have mixed feelings about people who unexpectedly shower you with compliments, and struggle with finding the best way to deal with all that sincere or false openness. Whatever your reaction is, one thing is sure: people will treat you differently after your weight loss.
Let’s see how the different types of people around you will treat you after your weight loss:
Family and relatives
Family could be supportive of your attempts to build yourself a healthy life. However, if obesity runs in your family, then family and relatives will be opposed of your lifestyle changes. It will seem that your family wants you to keep your past identity of being overweight and out of shape. Relatives will not see your hard work behind you looking fit and healthy. Don’t expect to get support from family, as they will only see that you’ve gone too far, and as you are now unhealthily thin. You can try to persuade them otherwise, and can spend hours of talking about being happy and healthy, and present them with facts of how this is a normal weight range for your age and height on the body mass index (BMI) chart, they will stay skeptic. Family members could even criticize or try to disrupt your fitness undertakings in order to maintain stability in the family. An overweight child has a specific role in the family – he or she deflects attention from other issues there are in the family, so by losing weight and becoming fit disturbs the whole usual flow in the family and its members.
As we know, change is hard. But inevitable.
You can frustrate yourself over this (like I did), or choose to accept that you recognized how you’ve led an unhealthy lifestyle and now you’ve taken charge of it to change it for the better.
Coworkers or classmates
Coworkers and classmates are the ones who see you every day of the workweek, and since you spend so much time with them, they will be the first to notice changes in your body. However, because you were identified as someone who is overweight and out of shape for years, when you get fit, the balance changes – they may start to feel threatened.
They will start to be jealous of your new fit body, and start commenting your success. The other option is that they will start to feel guilty because they’ve let themselves get out of shape and now the tables have turned and you are the sexy one in the office/classroom.
I work with women who were considered really hot back when I was obese. Fast forward a few years: I started lifting weights, they gained weight. Now the tables have turned – I am the one with the fit body. I try not to bring it up, but boy, they are jealous. You can see their faces lightning up with envy whenever someone walks into the office and comments on my new found good looks. But then again, they could use the stairs instead of the elevator too. Plus they shouldn’t have pizza for breakfast every morning.
Boyfriend or husband or a significant other
“I love you more now that we are thin!”
People tend to get involved with a partner who’s attractiveness is alike. So if you are overweight, chances are that your significant other is also on the bigger side. If you are lucky, you are on your journey to slim town together, so you have each others’ support and are going through the lifestyle change together. If this is not the case, and only you decided to lose weight, it slowly generates tension in your relationship. The other party will start to feel threatened when their partner becomes more attractive to the opposite sex. It will also produce a sense of inadequacy. This is exactly what breeds small fights, and can lead to serious problems in the relationship that are very hard to overcome. Yet again, both parties need to change: if you’ve changed on the outside, your partner will need to change on the outside too or on the inside in order to deal with the changes that your healthy lifestyle brings. Your best bet is to face the changes together, and develop a life with a healthy diet and exercise together that will benefit the both of you.
Exes
The satisfaction you feel when meeting your ex about yourself and your weight loss is equally proportional to the amount of the drama you two had breaking up.
If weight was an issue in your past relationship, the guilty, dirty pleasure gets multiplied. That said, this is not a healthy attitude to have and you should not strive to motivate yourself to lose weight for your ex (either to get back to them or to get them back).
Do your workout because you want it and need it for yourself, and not for anyone else!
“Damn, she looks hotter than me now that she’s not fat anymore”
Loosing weight by changing your lifestyle comes with gaining a bunch of self confidence. So be prepared that you might loose a best friend when you get high self esteem if it was based on low self esteem issues. Just remember that you are the one that changed, not your friends – so if they are judging your new appearance, it means that they were always so judgmental. It’s just that when you were heavy, they never said anything to your face because they were ashamed to show their judgement in front of you. They are jealous of your achievements because now they feel insecure when they are around you. Their jealousy and resentment towards you is a reflection of their own insecurities and lack of self esteem they are projecting on you.
Supportive friends
If a friend shows no difference in how they treat you now that you are fit and before you were heavier, it means that you chose wisely about friends that you keep around you. A supportive friend reinforces the positive changes that his or her friend makes. You should look for friends like this. Just keep in mind: successful and fulfilling friendships are a two-way street.
So however people might treat you differently after your weight loss, you need to remember that you got fit for yourself. You are doing it all for yourself, and not your ex, boyfriend or to make girlfriends jealous! Many things in your life changed after your drastic weight loss, and almost all of them were positive. Find a motivation to stay fit for yourself, and start caring less about what others think of your new fit body. Especially since what other people think of you is none of your business!
Found this useful? Get moretips on how to motivate yourself towards a lifestyle full of healthy habits! Click here>>>
Hitting the healthy weight chart on the BMI chart for women is a challenge for itself. You avoid certain types of foods to help you lose weight, exercise regularly, count your caloric intake, change your whole life around to have a healthy living, motivate yourself. Finally you get to a healthy weight, look awesome and fit with muscles from all that hard exercise, start dressing differently because all your old donated clothing is now a part of a new wardrobe of a homeless.
That’s when friends, coworkers and acquaintances start noticing your new found body. They will feel like it is time for them to compliment you on your achievements. They will be thrilled about your success, because you’ve accomplished what they are just hoping to achieve one day. As may it be fascinating for you at first to hear the compliments, you will grow tired of them soon after. Especially when you realize that what they say is actually a reflection of their own biases, self-doubt and flaws.
Soon you’ll recognize that there are just 5 type of people that you’ll encounter after losing weight:
1. The Thrilled
The Thrilled are just soooooo happy for you now! It’s like you were invisible for them back in your fat days. It is a bit creepy that after all that time of ignoring or just saying the obligatory hello the Thrilled are now giving you more attention than your significant other and telling you how great you look. Makes you wonder if they thought that you were an ugly obese before. Why the heck none of them ever bothered to bring that to your attention?
I am also eating a healthy balanced diet! Want a lick? Image source
People you don’t know very well or who never even bothered to talk to you before will feel completely entitled to comment on your weight loss. [Tweet this!]
“Before” is unacceptable to them and the “after”, the new you, is to be congratulated and praised.
Tip: If you get tired of talking only about your weight loss success, take control of the situation and change the topic. Maybe you will find out that they are not so bad after all, and become new best buddies with the Thrilled.
2. The Critics
The Critics will analyze everything that you are doing. They are like a judging mother: asking you if you eat regularly, stating that you are too skinny, give unwanted advice. They will ask you why you are not dressing a certain way, why you are eating what you are eating, and even ask if you are sure you are not sick.
3. The Rude Critics
The Rude Critics struggle with weight and self-confidence themselves. Your looks make them uncomfortable, so they will deal with this the only way they know how. So they will either start avoiding you, or those with a messed up mind will tell you how they can’t stand looking at you like this:
“You look awful, put on some weight please!” Image source
“I can’t stand looking at you like this, put on some weight please!”
or
“I can’t stand seeing you like this, you don’t look like yourself anymore!”
They just want to hurt you, because they feel humiliated and are embarrassed about themselves. Don’t forget that these are trying times for them, so if you are not able to resolve the conflict coolly and rationally, then it is best for you to take some time apart from the criticizers.
Rude Critics want to embarrass and hurt others to build their self-esteem.
4. The Followers
The Followers will share your success story with everyone around them! They do this because they are really proud that you finally lost weight and got fit looking. You’ll feel a bit proud of yourself, but after awhile it will become annoying that your Followers want to be in the spotlight with your success.
5. The Admirers
The Admirers will want to know your secret, and they won’t believe that it is all hard work. They will think that you have magic beans or potion to make you physically fit, thin and awesome looking in an instant!
Tip: They are the easiest to get rid of: just tell them that if they want to look like you, they should focus on their healthy diet and training – they will instantly lose interest.
These are all types of people that knew the overweight “before” you. People you meet “after” you lose lots of weight will treat you differently than what you are used to, because they don’t know the fat you. Slowly you will get used to that too.
I've lost significant weight and my body changed. Every morning I look in the mirror I get surprised at the mirror image: it can't be me. I'm fat, not as thin as that reflection! I still feel like I take up a lot of space! What can I do to make myself see my new fit body after weight loss for the body it is now and not the body it was in the past?
Fat Girl in mirror, Fit Girl in reality. My mind is messed up.
Shopping for clothes comes with a revelation that I pick an item and think to myself there is no way I am going to fit in it… I try it, and it fits! I have so many insecurities now that I am finally thin. Thinking you are still fat when in reality you are not is a real insecurity issue, and know that you are not alone in this!
The phenomenon is known as ‘phantom fat’. Most people who used to be fat still have that body image in their minds even after their bodies have changed. Their perception of themselves did not change. This is especially the case if the weightloss happened fast. When I realized that I am not the only one facing this issue, it comforted me to some extent. I’d felt lost at times because no one around me seemed to understand the impact of this.
Get help dealing with distorted body image in order to truly accept it
The bad news is that it is harder to change the internal body image than the physical body. The good news is that this acceptance depends only on you!
The body image you have of yourself is based on your feelings and your subconscious. You are the only one who can change it – so you don’t need anything but self motivation to work on it! [Tweet this!]
Women who had to pay attention to their weight make more effort to look their best and they believe that how they look is an important part of their personality. We can be characterized by body dissatisfaction and excessive concerns about physical appearance.
The 2 main reasons of phantom fat and why you feel out of touch with your new body are:
The internal image perception still did not change from overweight to fit the new body. You are still fat in your head. You need to change your image perception in order to accept the new you.
There is a disorder in the energy field around your body. The size and shape of your body changed and this change is effecting the energy field around your body. It needs to adjust on a subconscious level in order for you to be balanced again.
Am I suffering from phantom fat?
If you agree with any of these statements, then it is highly likely that you suffer from distorted body image perception.
“I am afraid that I will get fat again.” After weight loss the fear of gaining weight or becoming fat again might be your best motivation to stay slim. However, if you know that your fear is irrational – because you exercise regularly like a beast and eat healthy – but still fear of weight gain, then it is a sign that your internal body image did not adjust to your real life body.
“I always have to look my best!” Formerly overweight woman value their appearance highly because it is an important part of who they are. If you spend a lot of time worrying about: your everyday looks – but you’re not a celebrity, putting together an outfit – but you’re not a stylist, then you are preoccupied with your appearance because you are insecure about yourself.
“Do I look fat in this dress? Do I look fit enough?” If you search for approval and reassurance that you are not fat and can’t believe when people say that you’re not fat or that you’re fit, then you surely have a problem.
“My ass is so big!”/”My tummy is really big!” You are not satisfied with your body image so you keep complaining about your looks to your best friend or workout buddy. You don’t realize that when you turn to your best friend and say “My tummy is so big” you are also saying “Your tummy is really big.” You are not just insulting yourself personally, you are also insulting others around you.
Steps to build a more positive body image perception to accept the new you
The first and most important thing to know is that fat loss does not change who you are as a person! Remember this: it is still you on the inside. Now that you are fit, try focusing more on your inside and not so much on your outside appearance. After all, it is still the same you!
Walk in the dark with closed eyes: you will need to rely on your other senses in order to navigate yourself. It connects the mental image that you have of your body with the real life body of yours. During this exercise you will need to work with the body you currently have, and not the image of the body that is imprinted in your subconscious. Do this for 10 minutes a day, and you will see improvements in sensing your whole body.
Backward walking: it works similar to the previous exercise, without closing your eyes. It is challenging to walk backwards because backward walking eliminates the typical heel-strike to the ground – the toe contacts the ground first. It is not just a simple physical activity, it requires brain activity as well. Plus it keeps you stay mentally sharp, puts your senses into overdrive, and it enhances vision as well. You’ll see all these benefits with a 10 minute walk a day for five weeks.
Shift your focus on the things you like about your body: it can be your newly toned arms or any other body part. The important thing is that you start seeing your body for what it is from body part to body part. You’ll be able to see the whole new you in time. When we are in the process of losing weight, we tend to see only the fat parts of our body that need to change. So we get used to focus on the not-so-good-looking body parts.
The summer is here! Stop wearing a swimsuit! Get out your bikini! Unless you are wearing it for an office event, you’ll see that no one else finds anything odd about it. Pool parties, here I come!
Get help dealing with body image issues after weight loss! Click here to get emotional help>>>
You’ve lost significant weight. You have become healthier and stronger.
The body you see in the mirror is everything you ever wanted.
But it still feels strange? Still surprised when you see a photo of yourself?
We offer tips for accepting this new you.
Get 9 great tips to help with mental obstacles with your body image
The biggest struggle wasn’t losing all those pounds as you thought it would be, because once you change your habits and introduce regularity in your life, it’s all easy as a pie. The real disturbance is what you’re experiencing now, after the weight loss: the image of a body you see in the mirror staring back at you feels foreign. It looks good, attractive, but it is not you.
You thought that with losing weight you will gain a higher level of self confidence and a healthy level of self-esteem. You were wrong. You are more self aware than ever before.
You are used to watching beautiful bodies everywhere around you and wishing you had that flat tummy/toned arms/defined thighs/sexy booty. That’s what get you started on your journey towards healthy weight. But now you can’t believe you already did it – your body looks good! You thought you’ll never have that body, but now it’s yours. But the biggest problem you face now is accepting it. You are used to being overweight, it is familiar, and you learned to live with it.
Why am I dissatisfied with my body after weight loss?
Weight loss in itself is a major life change, much like getting married or moving to another country. Tweet this!
Especially if the weight loss happened fast: your brain and your neurons are not as quick catching up to your new persona as your body is changing. The older you are the harder it is. Children are freely accepting changes in their bodies because they are still laying down images and views of themselves. Your view of yourself is more deep-seated when you become an adult, so it can be difficult to resolve changes with who you are as a person. This is due to the fact that the person you think you are is tied in to the body that you have. So body image after weight loss becomes a troubling and confusing experience.
A holistic approach sees this psychological trauma of being fat in the past as a disorder in the energy field. Everyone who ever experienced being shaped differently in the past go through this.
Acceptance of the problem
Also, you are used to focus on the negative things, the things that draw your attention and make you go “Ugh” about yourself. That’s exactly what kept motivating you throughout your voyage to Slim Town.
She runs everyone over on her way to Slim Town. Image copyright
So the first step is to admit that you have a problem with accepting the new you. You might not even be aware of it yet; it might just come to you as a seldom thought when you see your reflection. Your mind can’t make the connection. That reflection is not you, it can’t be: You are bigger than that; your thighs are wider; your belly is huge and looks like a beach ball. That mirror is lying to you. Then a friend notices the change, and tells you that you look great. You don’t believe them. Then other friends and family notice that too and compliment you on your looks.
First you think they are lying; then you start doubting yourself and your judgment. Then you start looking for your reflection and start seeing what they are talking about
But that new body is you, however your brain has not caught up with the weight loss yet.
How to overcome body image issues
Having the body of your dreams is new: your mind will need time to accept it. It will happen in time, I assure you there is nothing wrong with your mental health. How to speed up the process of your brain accepting your new body image? Here are my tips:
Put a photo of yourself on the fridge or another visible place where you think you look better than perfect
Get yourself a pair of skinny jeans or colored pants that make you keep thinking “Girl, you are small!”
Take pictures now & compare them to old pictures
Ask a friend or a significant other you absolutely trust what they think about your looks after the weight loss
Look yourself in the mirror while you work out and compare the body you see with other bodies in the gym
Go window shopping! Pick something out that you would never have dared to wear before and try it on just for the fun of it!
Try on your old over-sized clothes! This way you will get a clear perspective of your progress and your current body size.
Ask a friend or your significant other to point out someone from a crowd of people who has a similar body size as you. You’ll be surprised! Also, seeing other people who are similar to you in size will not trigger the same emotional response as seeing a picture of yourself would, therefore it’s helping you rationalize your new body size.
When getting a positive comment on your new body from others, don’t ignore it or dismiss it. It’s a bad manner and you come off as being rude. Say thank you for the compliments! You’ve just earned somebody’s respect and admiration. After all, you’ve worked hard for it, right? So don’t try to shy away from compliments about your looks. The other person sees something regarding your body size and lower weight that you don’t.
For best results, do all of the above!
Accept responsibility for your ownsuccess! See your body for as it is – don’t allow your old fat identity to ruin the new you!
You have problems dealing with your new body image? Share your story in the comments section!
Interested in facts about your body after weight loss? Click here to find out more>>>
Body image issues arise from the fact that your brain has not accepted the image of your new fit body. During your weigh loss you were dissatisfied with your overweight body and fat body parts. This dissatisfaction leads to low self confidence, even when you’ve lost all that fat. So what you need to do is start boosting your self confidence in order to accept your new fit body image.
