Monthly Archives: October 2014

Body acceptance by family after losing weight 2

Body acceptance by family after losing weight

Body image problems, Emotional issues after weight loss, , , , 
It is ironic that my family are the people who see me the most often, yet they fight the biggest struggle accepting my fit body after losing weight.
Body acceptance by family after losing weight
“Jimmy is all skin and bones! Let’s bury him like a skeleton!”

I believe I’ve made progress in accepting my new fit body after significantly losing weight. It was a big realization moment when a friend of mine spoke to me about her struggling to accept my new fit body. It was that moment that I’ve realized that I am not the only one struggling to accept my fit body: people around me, friends, family, also fight their own struggles with accepting my new found fit body!

Never have I had an encounter with my overweight father and mother where they wouldn’t bring up in a casual conversation their worries about me losing weight and having a fit body – or as they refer to it now SKIN AND BONES.

How family sees Your new fit body after losing weight

At the beginning of my journey to losing weight right when the results of the healthy diet and regular exercises started to show, every time I visited my mother, she would ask me if I eat at all. This continued even after I’ve explained to her that I am overweight and I am working out to lose weight to reach the normal weight range on the BMI (Body Mass Index) scale for my height. Every time we’ve met, I had to explain again and again that I am eating, but choosing to eat healthy foods, exercising 3-5 times per week, so she is seeing the results of my healthy lifestyle changing my body. But she could not and still cannot accept that being fit and not overweight is healthy. I believe that this is partly due to the fact that I have been either obese or overweight the most part of my life, and seeing me in a healthy weight range is new, unconventional for my mother. The other explanation that is more deeper seeded reason for my family being unable to accept my new fit body image stems from their outdated views of a healthy body: they were raised in a world where poor people were skinny because they couldn’t afford enough food for themselves and their families. Being overweight meant being well-fed, and wealthier than the average. So my parents don’t see that with consumerism and the wide acceptance and availability of processed foods the standards have shifted. And being obese comes from consuming  unhealthy and available processed foods whereas being fit (or as they know it “skinny”) means that you pay attention to what you are eating and can afford the more expensive but healthier foods.

I have tried to explain this to my family many times – but their views of the world are so deep seated that they can’t accept the fact that:

Being fit/skinny does not equal being unhealthy/poor.[Tweet this!]

How to deal with family members who can’t accept Your body after losing weight

One of my cousins have also had a hard time accepting my new fit body. After I opened up to her about my body image issues after losing weight she admitted that she also had issues accepting the new me(!) and my new found fit body! She truly believed that me with a fit body wasn’t being myself and that there were times when she secretly wished I’d become fat again! But when I accepted myself and my new found fit body, she accepted it too! She was thinking that finally her old friend is back!

Body acceptance by family after losing weight 2
“We are here because Your mother asked us to convince you to stop making healthy lifestyle choices.”

Not being in tune with your body and mind is noticeable by other around you. Maybe they can’t put their finger on it, just like you couldn’t, but they sense the disruption in your “force”.

Your best bet when dealing with family members who can’t accept your new fit body after losing weight is to talk openly to them about the body acceptance issues you are facing. This will make them realize that they are also struggling with accepting your new fit body. Who knows, you could even find out interesting new things about your family members that you weren’t aware before, if you start talking openly and listening to what they are saying.

You feel like you are still struggling with accepting your new found fit body? Find help clicking here >>>

Fat body image issues

Fat body image issues

Body image problems, Emotional issues after weight loss, , , , , , ,

I am one of those woman who never talks with her friends about the struggles she is facing when they are happening, but shares the success story of the struggle after she overcame the difficulties. So it is only recently that I have started talking about my struggles regarding my fat body image I have in my head while not being able to see a fit body image reflection staring back at me from the mirror. I have discussed the problem of not being able to see the fit body in the mirror after significant weight loss in the past. Fat body image issues

Fat body image issues are almost part of the past, and I can now finally see my actual fit body image reflection in the mirror. The fat body image I had hold on to for so long finally seems to be disappearing. I am able to see my actual fit body image in the mirror instead of a fat body mirror image. Furthermore, I am finally starting to believe that the fit body image in the mirror is the real me! The fat body mind set and fat body image has started to float away. I am just starting to fully enjoy the fit body I worked so hard for.

It is still difficult to talk about the emotional experience of thinking and believing that I am going crazy because everyone around me says and sees me as fit, but I don’t see my body the way they see it, because only in my head I am still a woman in a fat body.

The truth is that seeing the real fit body image vs. seeing the perceived fat body image is a constant everyday battle. My body is getting fitter and fitter, but my mind does not see this. It is like my head is behind my body in time, it will take me a few months to accept the body image in my head that I currently have. In my mind I am fit, but not as fit as in reality. But it is a progress, and eventually the fat body image will be replaced by a fit body image. Fat body image issues

It is still puzzling for me how serious conditions with body image problems such as anorexia and other negative body image issues are taken seriously, and you can get counseling. However, body image issues that come with significant weight loss do not get the proper attention they should have.  In order to help myself with having a fat body image while actually being in a fit body, I had to browse through self help books written for low self esteem and serious negative body image issues, and select some tips that I thought would fit in my case as well. I tried a lot of the advices that I have came across about body image issues, and what worked for me was a quick 10 minute exercise that I did daily for a few weeks. Click here to find out about Exercise A and Exercise B >>>

Are you struggling with fat body image issues? Click here to find out!

If you want to read more about how to deal with issues related to fat body image click here >>

Please feel free to share your story of successful weight loss and not being able to see the results in the comments section below!

How to accept fit body after weight loss

Reasons a woman needs to start lifting weights

Motivation to stay fit, ,

Lifting weights is not for women. You’ll look bulky with big muscles! It’s not womanly! These are just some of the bullsh!t women say when I mention that I started lifting weights. Me, a woman. Shame on me. It makes me scream at them that lifting weights won’t make a woman huge, because you are in fact a woman. But mostly I just say yeah, I look huge, right? When in fact I look fit and curvy in all the right places just like a woman should look, and I feel strong from lifting weights. I discovered that lifting weights as a woman can be fun and awesome! So why are women afraid of lifting weights? How to accept fit body after weight loss

While I was obese my goal was to lose weight to look healthy. Getting rid of fat and losing weight was a priority as a woman. I managed to go to overweight from obese and then lost more weight to finally hit the normal weight range for a woman. Achieving weight loss in a healthy way was also a priority and I noticed that I’ve not just lost weight and became thin from overweight but also thanks to regular exercising became a fit woman as well!

Overexercising is not good for consistent, healthy weight loss! [Tweet this!]

So I’ve changed my weight goals going lower and lower. The priority also shifted: it is not so much about losing weight anymore; it’s more about building muscle and paying attention so I don’t lose muscle mass while losing weight; but loose the remaining fat. Reasons woman need to start lifting weights

Now I am considered more muscular than the average woman out there. I never would have imagined that building muscle will be on my to do list! But having womanly muscles is awesome! And turns out I really enjoy having muscles: I love how carrying heavy grocery bags is not challenging anymore – I can carry them from the market to home easily! Getting six pack drinks and carrying them is also easy! And these are just the everyday benefits of being a muscular woman. I must admit that I secretly enjoy being the only woman in the weights sections of the gym. I let the others do cardio for hours and hours while I lift weights with men.

So why should every woman start lifting weights?

1. Get curvy body figure faster

You can have a fit body way faster with lifting weights than with doing cardio for hours and hours. Plus heavy cardio for more than 1 hour a day is not so healthy for you in the long run. You can easily achieve that desired womanly curvy body / six packs with lifting weights 3 times for an hour a week! So I switched from doing cardio 3 times a week to going to the gym lifting weights 3 times a week. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy the zumba classes, and attend them once or twice a week – but I don’t overdo it like some of the women by combining 2 or 3 hours of exercise a day for looking good. It’s pointless to tire yourself that much. And who the hell has time to exercise for 2-3 hours every day in the long run??? (Lonely women, that’s who.)

2. Being a beast without looking like a beast

Lifting weights will tone your womanly body making it visually pleasing. Muscles only show when you flex them, so you will not look like a beast, trust me. It is a common misconception that lifting weights will make women look big and bulky.Evan Mathis and Dwayne Johnson

In order to look like big men with bulky muscles, a woman would need to produce testosterone, eat the right things and take supplements. So it is a hard work to look like The Rock, it won’t happen if you don’t make an effort. Besides, women’s bodies do not produce testosterone required to get bulky, so you won’t have to be afraid that you’ll get big by lifting weights.

3. Eat more and still look good

Good news for all you women out there who like to eat: with lifting weights, you can still look good and eat! Of course you have to eat healthy, but using your muscles uses up strength, so you will need to eat after lifting weights. You will need to eat real food, and eat enough of it. Your muscles will need protein! How to accept fit body after losing weight

Lifting weights as a woman has made me looking sexier than ever! Curves all around! You don’t have to be afraid that lifting weights will make you look like a pro body builder with huge muscles – in order to look like a pro body builder, you really have to want to look like that, eat like a beast with a specific diet in order to build that unnatural muscle mass.

Remember: it’s not how much you exercise; the secret is to do it smart! [Tweet this!]

So, you want to look damn good and still be strong? Start lifting weights, woman! Get inspired on your fitness journey by clicking here >>>

How to accept fit body after losing weight

How to accept fit body after weight loss

Body image problems, , , 
When I started my weight loss journey never would I have guessed that the hardest part of becoming fit would be accepting mentally my newly sculpted body and its body image! Get 3 great tips and 2 easy exercises that will help you accept your new fit body and overcome the mental obstacle of that fat body image in your head.

I struggled with not seeing the weight loss change my body image in the mirror. I saw the numbers on the scale getting lower and lower, my pants being too big, but I just could not see this change affecting the body image in the mirror. In my mind I was still a fat girl instead of a fit one, no matter what friends and family said about me having a fit body.How to accept fit body after weight loss

Then as the weight loss continued, the feeling of my mind being out of sync with my body image grew stronger and stronger. I felt like an alien in my new fit body, and it was unbearable.

I even considered getting psychiatric help for my body image issues, because it was driving me crazy to live in a body that is considered fit and smaller in size than what I was always used to having – being obese and overweight my whole life. I even thought of stopping the exercises and start eating more, just to get back to my old, big body image size.

Luckily for me, my basic motivation for losing weight was to start and maintain a healthy lifestyle, and not mainly to get a good looking fit body.

Moving back to obese-city is not an option I could see myself being satisfied with again. [Tweet this!]

So I started to search online for help with my body image issues, but could not find anything that would directly help me. People would mention in their weight loss success stories that they still can’t see themselves as thin, or that they are not used to their body image, but that was it. No mentions on how to address this issue of fat body image existing only in your head.

3 tips to help You see Your fit body image after weight loss

Therapists and medical doctors didn’t take me seriously and said that this body image problem will solve itself, and that the fat body image goes away after a while. I tried many things to speed this process up, and here is a list of 3 things that will help you accept your new fit body:

1. Boost low self confidence

How to accept fit body after losing weightBody image issues arise from the fact that your brain has not accepted the image of your new fit body. During your weigh loss you were dissatisfied with your overweight body and fat body parts. This dissatisfaction leads to low self confidence, even when you’ve lost all that fat. So what you need to do is start boosting your self confidence in order to accept your new fit body image.

Here are tips on how to boost low self confidence after weight loss and accept your fit body image:

  • Put a photo of yourself on the fridge or another visible place where you think you look better than perfect and look at it often. This helps your mind connect to the fit body image that you see on the picture.
  • Take pictures of your body now after your weight loss & compare them to old pictures of yourself. This way the fake fat body image that you are holding on to in your mind and the real fit body image that you actually have now are being compared. It will help you see the changes that your mind did not see on your body before.
  • Get yourself a pair of skinny jeans or colored pants that make you keep thinking “Girl, you are hot!”. This will help your mind to start seeing how the weight loss changed the bottom part of your body.
  • Go window shopping! Pick something out that you would never have dared to wear while being overweight and try it on just for the fun of it! You will be surprised by how good your new fit body can look with the proper size of clothing!

2. Check for input from other people

People around me noticed my weight loss and positive changes about my body way sooner than I have. It was annoying for a while to address their compliments and answer their questions about my fit body, and I hated it. But looking back now I see that their comments and questions helped me a lot with my mental barriers of accepting my new fit body. Here is how you can ask friends or a significant other to help you with your body image problems:

  • Ask someone you absolutely trust what they think about your looks after the weight loss – you might not trust the image in the mirror, but if a friend or significant other points out that your body is actually fit and you are not fat anymore, it is way more likely to stick with you.
  • Ask a friend or your significant other to point out someone from a crowd of people who has a similar body size as you –  trust me, it will surprise you! Seeing other people who are similar to you in size will not trigger an emotional response as seeing a picture of yourself would, therefore it’s helping you rationalize your new body size.
  • When receiving a positive comment on your new body image from other people, don’t ignore or dismiss – it’s bad manners and you come off as being rude. Don’t try to shy away from compliments about your looks: say thank you for the compliments! Chances are that the other person sees something positive regarding your body size and lower weight that you don’t see.

3. Quick 10 minute exercises for accepting your new body

 You can try both Exercise A and Exercise B to see which one suits you best, and then continue with the one you are more comfortable with. Or you can switch them up, and one day do Exercise A and on other days Exercise B. The trick is to do them for at least a week, and soon you’ll be able to see your fit body image in the mirror, and not just the fat self.

Exercise A: Walk in the dark with closed eyes
  • You will need to rely on your other senses in order to navigate yourself. It connects the mental image that you have of your body with the real life body of yours. During this exercise you will need to work with the body you currently have, and not the image of the body that is imprinted in your subconscious. Do this for 10 minutes a day, and you will see improvements in sensing your whole body.
Exercise B: Backward walking
  • It works similar to the previous exercise, without closing your eyes. It is challenging to walk backwards because backward walking eliminates the typical heel-strike to the ground – the toe contacts the ground first. It is not just a simple physical activity, it requires brain activity as well. Plus it keeps you stay mentally sharp, puts your senses into overdrive, and it enhances vision as well. You’ll see all these benefits on your mental body image with a 10 minute walk a day for five weeks.

It was these last two exercises (Exercise A and Exercise B) that truly helped me accept my new fit body image.

How to accept new fit body after weight loss
Or try the advance Exercise C: walk along a thin rope backwards just before sunset while people are staring at you in awe

Looking at old pictures of myself helped too, but it made me overly emotional, so usually I was trying to avoid to look at my old obese and later overweight pictures of myself. Input of friends was useful in seeing the body I had in reality in my mind, because they pointed out things about my body that I hadn’t noticed. A friend I always considered beautiful and good looking with a fit body said to me:  “Look at your tummy, it is flatter than mine!” This was a major game changer for me.

Need more help seeing your new fit body image in the mirror? Get more tips by clicking here >>>

How to find time to exercise if You are too busy

How to find time to exercise if You are too busy

Motivation to stay fit, , 
Friends and coworkers compliment my new found good looks and fit body - they all want to know my secret. When I reveal that my fit body is due to regular exercise 5 times a week, they instantly become uninterested. They claim they have no time to exercise.

Everyone is searching for a quick fix for looking good, and are not interested in hearing that in order to achieve their goals, they need to sacrifice time, change old habits and work hard for a longer time period.

Exercising is good for the well-being of your body and your mind as well. We all know that regular work out is highly beneficial, however not many of us make the effort to make time for it. The most frequent excuse that people have of why they don’t work out regularly is that they don’t have time for exercise. What I really hear is when someone says to me that they don’t have the time to exercise is that they don’t think that exercising is important enough for them.

If it’s important enough, you’ll make time for it. If it is not, you’ll make up an excuse. [Tweet this!]

So it just means that other things are more important in their lives than being fit, feeling healthy. Many of the benefits of regular exercise are more than weight loss itself.

Excuse #1: I have a busy schedule I can’t fit in an hourly exercise each day!

Fix: The trick is to plan ahead your exercise sessions for every day of the workweek just like you plan any other activities in your busy schedule. So plan that 1 hour exercise for the 5 workdays ahead of time. The secret to maintain a regular exercise for a longer time period is to have a plan B at hand: if working out at a planned time fails because of some unexpected and unplanned happening, you need to have a second option.

How to find time to exercise if You are too busy
Missed gym time today so I’m gonna work out in the kitchen instead

In my case I plan my gym exercises right after working hours, so that way I have plenty of time for other things in the evening. However, if there is an emergency I need to take care of right after work or I unexpectedly stay in late at work, I set plan B in motion. That is to go to the gym in the evening. Being a planning freak as I am, I also have a plan C, in case plan B fails too. That is to get my dose of exercise done on an additional day (usually on a weekend when my rest days are). If I can’t make on time to the Zumba class for any reason, my plan B is to have my cardio elsewhere that day or later that week.

Planning is important, because it will help you achieve greater consistency. [Tweet this!]

Get started by planning your exercise session by making a detailed schedule of your weekly activities, and find time to exercise.

Excuse #2: Cooking / cleaning the house / washing and ironing / household chores are taking up too much of my free time!

Fix: These all are household chores that we all have to do. Unless you have a maid that does all this instead of you, chances are you have to do them by yourself – and you must do chores for every day. The real trick here is to decide for yourself if having an always clean house is more important to you than having a healthier and fit lifestyle. It bothers me too to look at that dusty shelf every morning for days and promise myself that I’ll clean it right after I get back from work, but because I made it clear to myself and to my husband that daily exercise is on high priority. So looking at dirty shelves for 3 days should be bearable. The good thing about regular exercise is that it has many benefits, one of them being more energetic. This means that many times when I get home from the gym, I shower, eat and start cleaning/washing/ironing! I could have never imagine doing this back at the days when I was fat and low on energy all the time!

How to find time to exercise if You are too busy 2
Exercise first, then clean!


Also you could think about delegating chores to family members as well. Let go believing that  you are the only one who can complete things perfectly. I too had a hard time while learning to delegate. The secret formula is: if someone can make it 80% as good as you can, then delegate that task immediately!

Need more help in motivating yourself to start working out regularly?

Click here for free advice >>>