After losing weight and going from obese to fat to fit my family says I am too skinny. My family is using every opportunity to tell me that I am too skinny, I am not eating enough, being skinny is not healthy, skinny is ugly, I will get sick if I lose more weight and keep up exercising(!!??). So how do I deal with family like this?
Imagine this scenario: family gathering, family members sitting around the table stuffed with food, eating. Then suddenly grandma turns to you and says:
– Sweety, you are eating like a bird. Here, have some more potatoes!
Your plate and mouth are full of delicious roasted chicken, and while you are trying to swallow that bite of Brussels sprouts and start explaining that you are eating right, your father joins the “conversation” and says:
– Eat more! Skinny people are ugly!
You finally swallowed that bite and start defending yourself by telling them that as they can see, you are eating. In fact, you were chewing when grandma turned against you. Plus you are not skinny, but fit. There’s a difference. And you start flexing your muscles to prove your point. All this, while your husband quickly goes into supportive mode and starts explaining that your weight is in the normal range. You cut his sentence in the middle to inform everyone that if they remember, not long ago you were obese. You worked hard to lose weight in order to look like this. This ain’t no accident.
But they seem like they hear what you are saying but anything that you say does not convince them that this is healthy. For them, you are way too skinny. They loved the fat girl, not you, the fit girl.
Now imagine this scenario repeating itself every Sunday. For the past 8 months. Sunday family time equals living in hell.
Sounds familiar? Then keep reading to find out how to deal with family (or friends) saying you are too skinny when in fact you’ve lost weight and went from obese to fat to fit!
Some of my favorite things my family says to me after I’ve lost weight and went from fat to fit are:
1. “We are concerned about your health”
That’s right, my overweight and obese family members are concerned about me not taking care of myself. My family and relatives with diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, indigestion problems and obesity are giving me health advice. Yeah, I should definitely follow their advice – if I want to end up with those kind of health problems. The thing is: I don’t. It was my main motivation to start living a healthy lifestyle and start working out regularly to avoid all of the above mentioned health problems that I’ve seen my family members struggle with.
Polite reply while dealing with family:
– Thank you for your concern, but I am fine. I have never felt this good in my life before. I am energized, focused and I sleep good. In fact, I have my latest blood test results with me as a proof that everything is okay with me. Care to check?
They never check.
Angry reply while dealing with family:
– I just had my blood test results back. My doctor says I am in top shape! How are your results?
Trust me, they’ll never ask you about your health again.
2. “You look too skinny”
It’s like you can do nothing about becoming fat, but being fit or how they call it, “skinny” is something you should be fixing – by eating more!
Polite reply while dealing with family:
– I am fit, not skinny. And I worked hard for looking like this, it didn’t happen by accident. I want to look like this.
Angry reply while dealing with family:
– I think you look a little heavy.
Just be prepared that they will get offended, because the social norm is people thinking it is okay to call someone skinny, but telling them that they are fat is considered really rude. You won’t get more comments about being too skinny. Though very few people in your family will like you after that.
3. “Are you still on that diet?”
I regret the day I told my family that I don’t eat chocolate. Every time we meet, they have to double check if I am still not eating it. So I started eating it around them.
Not to mention my husband and his keto diet. Family just don’t understand what eating bad means. For them, bad food means that it is spoiled. There is no such food in their dictionary that will make you sick, unless it’s rotten.
A diet in my family’s head equals strict dietary limitations, staying unrealistically thin and depriving yourself of the foods you love. For them, you are not on a healthy eating plan, you are dieting. And it can’t be kept up in the long run.
So what to answer when they ask you if you are still dieting?
Polite reply while dealing with family:
– It is not a diet, I am eating healthy. I developed healthy eating habits for long term. This is a complete lifestyle change, not a 12 week eating plan.
Angry reply while dealing with family:
– Do you believe it is healthy to eat even when you are not feeling hungry? Did you know that hunger is the body’s way to let you know that it needs nourishment?
My overweight family believes that I am way too skinny – for them being overweight is normal. Sometimes it seems to me that in our society, where most people are overweight, being overweight is the new norm. Being fit equals being too skinny.
If your family’s constant remarks bothers you, then you need to learn how to deal with family. Try explaining them the reasons of why you choose to live a healthy lifestyle, and be sure to tell them how you feel better now that you are working out regularly and eating healthy. If this doesn’t help, then do what I did: shut them up by threatening them! I told them that if they keep bullying me, I won’t visit them anymore. Never heard a bad remark again.
Found this guide useful? Get more useful quick tips on how to motivate yourself towards a lifestyle full of healthy habits! Click here>>>